Today's Dispatch: Breathe and Stop

This post is brought to you by Q-Tip.



- The crazy rainy weather this time of the year has prompted me to take my workouts indoors and start doing yoga once again. I have to admit that I don't seem to burn as much with yoga as I do when I go running, but ever since I've started doing it regularly I feel like my mind is clearer and my posture isn't as tight as it used to be. Not to mention that I've been seeing a little muscle definition here and there, too, which is nice after having to live with a lot of flab for months.

- On the other hand, I've been quite edgy lately because this week is the last week of instruction, and I'm supposed to find out when my finals are any day now. It's nerve-wracking, because I've been calling the office almost every day to find out if the schedule has been released and I'm still not getting any answers on the exact date and time for them. The only thing crazier than this is the fact that I've got another week to wait for some good news coming from Manila, regarding a major career change (and possible move) that I'll have to keep under wraps until it is confirmed for sure. Either way, I'm just dying to get some time off after this crazy semester!

- In terms of my writing: After three straight months of working on Nominated, I've decided to put it on hiatus in favor of revising last year's NaNoWriMo novel, World on a Plate. (You may remember this as the novel I wrote in my attempt to work out my feelings towards the Smug Canadian Bastard, only to find out halfway through that The Hotness was not tall enough to play him in the film adaptation.) My decision to revise Plate has a lot to do with the fact that this novel, to me, would be easier to market for publication than Nominated, since it's a book written by a Filipino about the Philippines... but with a little humor, and a lot to do with food, travel, and relationships.

- In shallow showbiz news, I've gotten quite hung up over this blind item about someone on a social-media site who's about to change her handle. I don't know about you, but the social-media site in this story is soooooo obviously Twitter.

- And if you haven't seen my current writing-inspiration board on Pinterest yet, here it is. (And I'm also working on more boards for style inspiration, too!)

Got any style tips, advice, and possible blind item material? Show us some blog love by following @stella_meimei on Twitter, or leave a comment below! 

Today's Dispatch: Skin and Tones

This week's tutorial was brought to you by Pixiwoo.



- Since I already brought up my new dermatologist last time, I might as well share the rest of the regimen with you guys right now. I currently use proprietary prescription-strength products for my sensitive skin, but I think this can be easily replicated with OTC products as well.

• DAY: Gentle cleanser, followed by oil-free moisturizer mixed with refining cream, and BB cream blended on top. 
• NIGHT: Gentle cleanser, followed by creamy moisturizer mixed with refining cream (on a relatively moist face), and a little cortisone cream for red spots. 
• PRODUCT SUBS: The cleanser I have right now is basically a creamier version of Cetaphil, which is not too hard to find at your local stores. I already mentioned BB creams in my previous posts, but you can also use an oil-free tinted moisturizer with sunblock instead. (The cream I'm using is similar in consistency and coverage to Benefit's You Rebel.) 

And after the jump: Too much analysis to bear, just for one single picture.

Domesticity Moments: Queenstown, NZ

For those remaining readers of Domesticity whom I have not alienated after that last entry about The Hotness and Captain Tightpants, I give you... one of the less-sexy photos taken of myself during this whole entire trip.

Breakdown, from the feet up: Running shoes by Reebok (now totalled, RIP); men's jeans by Levis; Gore-Tex parka by The North Face; scarf and hat from an NZ chain store that had them in sale (2 for NZ$10). The green suitcase is mine, and the red one belongs to my cousin JuniorMei.

I look like I'm going snowboarding here, but let's face it: Queenstown at this time of year is cold. As in, bone-chilling, sweater-layering, cannot-be-cured-by-a-Starbucks-hot-cocoa cold. (The Hotness was never an option, but even if he was... hello, still colder than a deep-freeze.) It may be warm and toasty in the hotel room - warm enough to convince you to ditch that parka - but step outside and you'll be forced to run in and throw on the bulkiest layer in your wardrobe. The only thing missing here is an awesome pair of gloves, which sucks because I still don't know how to shop for 'em.

But seriously: This is what one gets when one travels to a resort town that's practically a stone's throw away from Antarctica. 



So how does one cope with cold weather like this - besides copious amounts of hot tea, throat lozenges, and an awesome pair of gloves?

Pump and Lift, Episode 19: Carbs and Veggies

Above: How to eat a la Gwen Stefani. 


I'm not the kind of person who can afford to get sanctimonious when it comes to diet advice. In fact, I don't even recommend the exact diet that I'm on right now, because I'm also on doctor's orders to watch my risk of arthritis and gout due to hyperuricemia. No red meat, no peanut butter, not even a little bit of whole wheat bread or oatmeal. I wouldn't wish that kind of diet on anyone at all.

What I can recommend, though, is a battle plan that addresses carbohydrates and vegetables.

Let me put it to you this way: I'm not a fan of the low-carb diet. I can't think without carbs. In fact, I can't even start a decent day without a single carbohydrate. Back in college, it was bagels and brown rice; in my working years, I switched to cereal and granola bars. Now, more than ever, carbohydrates have become very important in keeping myself from spacing out in class.

It all boils down to a single concept: Carbohydrate front-loading.


Let's say that you've got a stressful morning ahead of you. You could truly use the energy to forge ahead with the rest of your day, and you can't do that with just sugar and caffeine.

So what do you do? You front-load by eating two to three servings of carbs for breakfast. 


Yes, it sounds crazy, but consider: According to the American Cancer Society, the average 4-inch supermarket bagel constitutes three full servings of carbohydrates. You don't even have to eat it dry to make the most of all that energy - I get around it by spreading only 1 tbsp. of cream cheese and 1 tsp. of strawberry jam, which is half of what a normal serving should be. Then, to make sure that I'm still full, I would follow up that bagel with, say, a handful of papaya cubes (1 cup), or any other high-fiber fruit.

This leads us to our next topic: High fiber fruits and vegetables are your friends. 


I'm not usually a big fan of papaya, but I'm the kind of person who likes to eat mindlessly... and papaya always fits the bill, since my parents already have it on the table every morning. If I'm already carbed out during my regular meals, I will stop and eat whatever form of protein I have on my plate with some salad leaves. That doesn't mean I love my vegetables - there are just some things that I won't eat for no discernible reason - but the vegetables that I do eat, like steamed fresh spinach leaves (lemon juice and no sauce) and grilled eggplant, are always a deliberate choice for me at every meal.

Of course, this leads to the inevitable discussion of salads, and whether or not vegetables are your friends when they're slathered in olive oil. I'm on the fence vis-a-vis olive oil - it's a good fat, but still a fat - but I can say for sure that Mediterranean restaurants no longer have the monopoly on salads; in fact, most ethnic restaurants that I've tried in this country will always have a form of salad at one point or another.  In most Filipino restaurants - or at least the ones here in the Philippines - you can always get mangoes and tomatoes with rock salt and the occasional hard-boiled duck egg. If you're eating Korean food, your bulgogi comes with lettuce leaves to wrap around your meat with a dab of hot sauce and a little rice. And then there's the cuisine of Thailand and Vietnam: summer rolls, banh mi, and even pho come with tons of fresh vegetable accompaniments, so there's barely a single excuse to "pig out" and stay unhealthy.

It's easy for me to talk about vegetables now, seeing as I've naturally switched to eating by season - along with corn soup with moringa leaves (seriously, people: canned corn + chicken broth + leaves from your neighbor's malunggay plant = gold) and fuss-free detoxification through steamed greens. But like I've said, you have to take the risk of trying a new vegetable or fruit once in a while, just to see if it works for you.

(NOTE: I do have another upcoming entry that might end up contradicting all the diet-related Zen meditations that I've expounded on here. It won't be part of Pump and Lift, but it will deal with other body issues related to food and nutrition... and depending on the craziness that comes with the rest of my schedule, that rant essay should be up by Saturday at the latest.) 

Pump and Lift, Episode 16: I Wish I Had A Picture For This

Just weighed myself for the first time in so many weeks.

Saw a number that I never thought I'd reach, even during my most active days.

Ladies and gentlemen, your humble blogger now weighs...

Pump and Lift, Episode 15: The Unkindest Cut

(DISCLOSURE: I still hate this song as much as I did when it came out ten years ago. And I still hate 98 Degrees, even though Drew Lachey really won me over on Dancing With The Stars.)

Originally, I was going to post an entry from my SparkBlog, but after reading it I realized that I sounded really, really grumpy on that one, and it would've been better if I'd written it in a more even-tempered manner. Anyway, that's that.

What I really want to discuss here, however, is my decision to cut out red meat from my diet.

It'll be a long time before pork and beef get reintroduced back in the rotation, but right now my body has yet to stabilize itself in terms of processing fat and uric acid. The main thing here is that I don't overindulge in anything other than fruit and veg, which should help me get my blood chemistry under control.

Another thing that's making a long-overdue exit from my diet: butter. The last cake I had was coated in butter icing, and I felt it in my mouth and stomach... like I was going to throw up by the time I got home. That was the last straw for me. Sorry, Goldilocks, but I think I liked you better without frosting.

****

Enough about my diet - let's talk about the rest of the plan.

Upgrading my exercise routine has been the best thing that happened to me - not just with strength training, but also with my stress management. Not that I'm the very example of "calm and collected" at my job right now, but using weights and keeping up with my workouts gives me the chance to burn off a lot of frustration.

Come to think of it, that's a LOT of frustration that I need to burn off right now, too. Every single doctor I've consulted in the last year or so have told me that exercise is the best way to get a handle on my health problems: it's cheaper than therapy and less scary than prescription drugs. If I didn't do this, I would be looking at a litany of missed opportunities and bitter regret that no doctor can cure, and could only make matters worse health-wise.

(A piece of advice from my college days, which I believe I picked up from Scribey: If you feel like you can't get through your current workout, imagine yourself stomping on all the annoying people in your path with every move. Frenemies: trip 'em with a roundhouse kick! Ex-boyfriends: pick up a hand weight and push 'em away! Works every time.)

Another part of the plan now is to work on my communications skills. I've started consulting other professors to help me grade and teach my classes more effectively. I'm working on accepting my friends for being the good-hearted people they are, instead of potential saboteurs. (Ironic, though, because I still need to trust my gut whenever I come across someone who doesn't make me feel comfortable - which explains why I've un-friended so many people on Facebook.)  And, of course, I've started writing a journal again, for no other good reason than to keep track of myself and stay sane in the midst of all this chaos.

There's more weight to lose at this point, even if I am feeling good and confident enough to have my pants taken in. We've only just begun.

Pump and Lift, Episode 14: At Last, Another Video Review

I really wanted to hate The Firm. Really.

I blame the DVD you see on the left for my angst about The Firm. Yes, it's only one DVD - and the only one that we have in the Hacienda - but I honestly chose the wrong workout, and I ended up with knee pain and a list of complaints.

Too-fast pacing? Check. Annoyingly bland set? Check. (It's not for nothing that the Collage Video catalog always comments on videos with "The Firm-style" sets and workouts.) Inaccurate representation of difficult, higher-impact workouts as "easy"? Definite check.

Unrealistic-looking worker-outer extras in the video? Che-... wait a minute, nobody told me that the other girls in this video were actual Firm instructors themselves! All righty, then. If there's any comfort, though, I think I prefer the leggings-and-shorts aesthetic in The Firm to Kathy Smith's tiny workout leotards, which always distract me.

(Shallow note: As much as I enjoy Kathy Smith, I can't help but wonder if she and Madonna are neck-and-neck in the race to become the most intimidatingly fit cougar of all time.)

That said: This last month, I started noticing that I was losing muscle tone all over. My butt had deflated. My bra cups were not filling up the way they used to. I felt like a skinny person with fatty skin hanging over my bones.

It was about time, I thought, that I shook up my regular workout - but typhoon season had just set in, which meant that power-walking (and, therefore, my opportunity to work on my running) was not in the cards. I needed something that slayed two birds with one deathly efficient stone - something that gave me the stress-busting benefits of cardio with the "damn, that burns" efficiency of strength training.

Long story short, I dug up The Firm again, and found something that caught my attention: The Firm - Cardio Sculpt Fusion.



And I was hooked. 

The things I didn't like about the other Firm workouts were still there, but unlike the other workout I tried, the Cardio Sculpt one was much more fluid, which meant that I was more likely to catch up on the pacing with every workout. There was still a bit of knee pain, too, but it came and went and was more like a tiny pinch than a full hurt. It also helped that I only used weights on the exercises that needed more of a challenge from me, though that's more of my modification than their recommendation.

Does it work? Well, I've only done the workout twice, but I noticed that my butt is significantly less pancake-like, and my chest is showing signs of pectoral muscle development. Plus, my abs always feel the effects right away... and I'm the type of person who thinks that no prescribed core exercise will ever be able to help my floppy ab muscles (not even crunches, which are way too easy for me), so this is saying a lot.

I'm not going to hold The Firm at their word that I'll see results in 10 workouts, because I don't need that guarantee from them. The point is that I'm getting hooked on the burn, and having fun in the process - and that, dear friends, is a sure-fire recipe for Awesome.

Pump and Lift, Episode 13: Lower Body Exercise-a-Palooza!

WARNING: The author of this blog entry is NOT a professional fitness trainer, and therefore cannot guarantee any results - good OR bad - from the exercises shown here. We highly recommend that you consult with a real professional to develop the exercise program that's right for you. Mahalo!

In exercise terms, this is a basic squat:



And this is the squat's dance-y cousin, the basic plie:



(Take it from me: You don't have to do this position exactly as shown in the video above! Just putting your heels on the floor is fine - and much easier on the rest of your body, if you ask me.)

As a former ballet student, I am quite particular about the distinctions between the two. The plie shown above is based on the second position, which - I think - is especially important for engaging as many leg muscles as possible, which means that this is the position of choice for executing jumps and lifts. In fact, I've seen the second position used as a starting point for powerful moves in jazz and hip-hop.

Squats, on the other hand, are more of a unisex power move; in fact, squats are always paired with barbells in gyms as a means of developing leg muscles. While it does look a tad less graceful than the plie, you can still use squats as a basis for jumps and other moves - this, for example, is what I'm practicing right now as part of my program - and it will definitely do the rest of the job just fine.

In any case - regardless of which moves you execute - remember these tips to injury-proof your reps:

• Always keep your upper body lifted and your abs engaged. Do not stick your butt out too far; not only will it ruin the line, but you might also risk injuring your lower back as well.
• Try to imagine that you're sitting in a chair while doing these exercises; this not only keeps your butt in line, but it also prevents your torso from going past your knees, which also creates the risk of injury.
• As much as possible, make sure to keep your weight distributed evenly throughout your feet. 
• Finally: Use as much control as possible to execute these moves, and proceed at your own pace. Do not, under any circumstance, rely on momentum alone!

And, as a bonus, a few more videos to see these exercises in action...

Hey, it's Coach Nicole from SparkPeople! (And you don't even have to be an SP member to access these videos, since they already have a YouTube video channel of their own. And you can also get full compilations of them - complete with better music and editing - on DVD.) 



And speaking of DVDs... Collage Video's preview of the New York City Ballet Workout, Volumes 1 and 2. (Also available from Amazon.com.)

The Makeover Project, Episode 4: Hello, Aunt Flo

(Posted using ShareThis)

Here's an excerpt from my latest SparkPeople blog entry:

Usually, whenever Aunt Flo comes over for her monthly visit, I try to indulge her - steaks, red wine, dark chocolate, you name it. Maybe it's the bad diet advice I got in college when I stopped seeing the campus nutritionist, but somehow I managed to justify it all with talk about antioxidants, iron, and B-complex vitamins.

This month, however, my monthly visitor took her sweet yet passive-aggressive time with me.

The full entry - and by "full" I mean "chock-full of menstrual musings and cheesy euphemisms about my period" - can be found here.

The Makeover Project, Episode 2: Me and My Yoga

My interest in yoga was stoked when I purchased a Power Yoga workout on VHS, starring Rodney Yee as an instructor. Despite being a sedentary college student at that time, I surprised myself by being able to follow each and every position without a single modification - even managing to hold a tree pose without toppling over. Of course - as Scribey pointed out to me when I brought the tape to her apartment so we could work out together - it also helped that I was being led by a hot Asian man performing gravity-defying exercises in tight and tiny shorts. (Hello!)

That tape has been lost to me now - though Rodney has now found a home in SisMei's DVD stash, thanks to A.M. and P.M. Yoga - but I've discovered a bunch of different yoga routines on video since then. In fact, I now have three yoga DVDs in my current stash, which I have used with a fair amount of regularity.

Coming up right after the jump: reviews of the three yoga DVDs that I've been putting under heavy rotation.

The Makeover Project, Episode 1: Goals, Plans, and Random Details

Thank you to all of my loved ones and beloved readers who have sent their positive vibes my way since the last post. You guys are the best.

A little background information about where I'm starting: I'm 5'1 and 174 lbs., which means that my BMI is high and that I'm at a higher risk of being taken down by heart disease and other related ailments than most Filipino women. I've also been over-eating since I moved back with my parents, which hasn't been helped by the massive portions that we usually get at the dinner table.

My diet is currently under strict medical supervision, and has been approved by a nutritionist at a local hospital. Right now I'm trying to keep my caloric intake to 1,900 calories a day - lower than the 2,000 calories that are usually consumed in the average Filipino diet. This is actually easier than I thought, though, since the average Filipino in my age range thrives on relatively small to medium-sized portions.

Here are my goals, in a nutshell:

1. Stress management. Obesity may be Villain Numero Uno, but all of the health problems I'm encountering comes from stress. Hypertension? Blame stress. Abnormally high blood sugar? Stress again. In the long run, there are a lot of crazy ups and downs in my life, so being able to handle the craziness of it all is top priority here. 
2. Bringing the numbers down. The most important numbers being the following: blood pressure, blood sugar, LDL, and purine. Consider this as an investment in my future: I've seen what these numbers have done to my parents' generation, so I'd really appreciate it if I could reduce my risk of a stroke for the next 30 years. 
3. Weight loss. Sure, I would love to fit into sexier clothes... but what about my poor knees and ankles, which are always at risk of buckling under me whenever I walk? (Yes, it has gotten to the point where I can't wear heels any more. Pity.) Again, it all goes back to the investments I must make for the future.

So how am I doing all of this? (More, after the jump.)

The Makeover Project: Pilot Episode

I hope that this is the last picture you'll ever see of me as a Size 16. ;)

I've just noticed recently that, while I have been quite fastidious on posting about other people and other things, I've forgotten to post a lot about myself.

Yes, I know - this blog wasn't always supposed to be about me and my personal struggles - but I feel like I've been sloppy with my blogging in the same way that I've been sloppy with the rest of my life. No FOTDs, no pictures of my new makeup purchases... just a lot of overcompensation for the fact that I've been struggling lately.

Lately I've been going back and forth to the doctor's office, and for good reason: Despite my valiant efforts, my blood pressure continues to be unusually high,  my blood sugar has reached pre-diabetic levels, and my uric acid levels has gone from "okay for a thirtysomething" to "lay off the falafels, woman." Don't even get me started on depression, either.

And it all goes back to that all-encompassing Big Meanie of them all: obesity. Yes, the Meimei has been certified obese by Filipino medical standards.

Now, I'm not saying that I'm being asked to diet myself down to FHM cover-girl status; I like myself well enough not to starve. It's just that the extra weight I'm carrying is just that - extra weight. And I, for one, am more than ready to cast it all off - to cut down on the eating and moping, while I build up my courage and intrinsic motivation to be the best Meimei that I can be, regardless of whether or not I'll be able to wear that bikini. 

Welcome to the Domesticity Makeover Project, folks - you will definitely hear more from me soon. :)

Got any tips or motivational words to get me started? Post your comments here!

Slaying the Stress Monster: The Road Ahead

So here it is - Entry #5 in the Stress Monster series.



I haven't been really keeping track of my blog "birthdays," to be honest with you; all I know is that I started this blog in 2005 because I needed the challenge of having an outlet for my creative thoughts, especially when it came to makeup. Believe me when I say that writing a blog on top of all the crazy stuff that happened between then and now - from graduate school, to building a career, to my current move to the Philippines - was no joke. We're talking about changing formats, schedules, layouts, the whole thing. There were even a few times when I actually thought about shutting the blog down.

The question now is this: Why didn't I give up?

The closest I'll get to an answer, though, is saying that I knew myself well enough to understand why I wanted a blog in the first place. In a way, I did start this blog to get attention... but there were only two things that I knew were infinitely more interesting - and easier to justify - than the nitty-gritty details of my life: my writing, and my love for girly things like fashion, makeup, dark chocolate, and intensely hot guys.

Tempted as I was to write about the mundane but heart-wrenching personal stuff on this blog, I decided that I wanted my blog to be a happy place. That's how I came up with the tag line about "island hospitality": I wanted Domesticity to be a safe haven from the sturm und drang of everyday life and mainstream media. It was the closest thing I had to actually opening up my own outdoor lanai, where everyone can hang out and relax while I dish out gossip and beauty advice.

And now, five years later, here we are.

Life's different for me now. I've gone from contractual teaching and tutoring gigs to full work loads as an ESL instructor. I've swapped my retail-therapy walks around Ala Moana Center for actual jogging around my neighborhood. My financial concerns now revolve around car payments and building up my personal savings. And instead of whining about how I should be studying or lesson-planning while I'm actually writing something else, I now appreciate my time for creative writing - and blogging - for what it truly is: a challenge.

I see my parents' friends and neighbors in our home town, and it amazes me how these people in their 60s and 70s have managed to keep themselves on the up-and-up; they may complain about rheumatism or diabetes, but they're still getting up every morning to go walking, play chess, head outreach ministries, travel around the world. No severe illness - not even stroke, or cancer - could stop any of them from wanting to go out and try new things, the better to keep themselves from being lonely. Can't drive? Let the young pups drive you around. Can't buy cute clothes at the mall? Hire a seamstress and let her do all the altering - or, heck, buy the fabric yourself, give her your measurements, and go from there. There's always a way.

All of these things are happening around me, and it does make me wonder: How much further can I push myself - to challenge my body, my mind, my heart, my spirit? How much more can I explore this world around me, and the relationships that make me who I am? How else can I find meaning and purpose in my own everyday work?

Then I look at this blog - and the many pages of HTML I've generated in the last five years - and I think: Well, here's an answer for you... one of many, but still an answer.

There's still a long road ahead of us. Let's make it an awesome journey.

Slaying the Stress Monster: The Burden of Proof

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the ongoing presentation of FML: A One-Woman Drama. As you can see, this is a dialogue that has been running since the beginning of time, in various incarnations and different outcomes. This current production is for the benefit of Domesticity readers and other worthy folks who need help in realizing the actual awesomeness of their own lives. 

Our featured players for today are Meimei, in the role of Self, and... Meimei, in the role of Self. Due to unforeseen circumstances, however, our musical score cannot be played on the world's smallest violin, so we have replaced it with an endless loop of this song instead.



Self, I hate myself today.
- Hold it right there, Self. How did you come to that decision?

I just know, self.
- Know what?

I can't stand it. I'll never be a successful blogger.
-Tell me why you can't be a successful blogger. I need proof.

Well... I try my best, I put up pictures and videos, but my numbers aren't up. Nobody reads me.
-That's not enough proof, counselor. What do you mean by "nobody"? Did somebody magically transport you into a Wonder Girls music video? I've already seen your reader stats, by the way, and they look pretty good.

But I see these fashion and beauty bloggers, and they get all sorts of attention in the press, and people rave about how fabulous they are and get tickets to Fashion Week and interviews with celebrities and WHY AM I NOT FABULOUS ENOUGH FOR YOU PEOPLE?
- Yes, but those same people have to deal with flame wars, writer's block, and accusations of "selling out." Do you really want to risk your mental health on that crap? And, hello, did you just forget that you have a day job now?

But I'm just a university employee out in the literal boonies.
- A university employee who happens to have an awesome blog and a pretty good command of English grammar, by the by. At least you don't use Comic Sans. Or post Ur BlOg eNtRiEz LyK dIs cuz U lyk txt.

Haha. Seriously, though. I'm not fabulous enough to be a blogger.
- Says who?

Says them.
- Who's them?

The cool people.
-Which cool people? Are we still talking about the people you went to school with AGAIN? That's water under the bridge, honey. They would never have friended you on Facebook if they didn't think you'd grow up to be an awesome person, don't you think? (turns and waves at actual Facebook friends reading this blog)

Well, I guess that makes sense now.
-See?

But... but... the media, and the society, and the expectations for women -
- So? Are all these criticisms directed personally at you? Because as far as I know, there are no press conferences scheduled for People Who Truly Believe That Meimei Does Not Meet Our High Standards of Awesomeness.

I know, I know - but there's this expectation from everyone -
- Here we go again with the "everyone" business. I want names this time. 

Um... Jennifer Aniston?
- Right, as if that woman is going to fly out to the Philippines just so she can laugh at your face. Really, now, did you really think that Maniston will take time off from her busy schedule to get on a jeepney and ask for directions to the Hacienda?

No - she'll end up taking two jeepneys, and she'll have to take a tricycle, which would cost her 70 pesos instead of  -
-And that's a problem, because...?

Wait, self. That's not a problem. That's an EXCELLENT idea! (cackles evilly)
- See, I told you. Let me repeat: You live on a Hacienda with a loving family, proper indoor plumbing, and an Internet connection that hasn't died on you. You've made a lot of awesome friends all your life, and they still get along with you to this day. You've managed to beat the odds by getting two degrees in the United States, traveling around the world, and landing a day job at one of the most respected universities in Asia. Neighborhood kids, tricycle drivers, and feral cats treat you with a lot of respect. Did I also mention that you have a great sense of humor?

Well, that sounds nice and all, but -
-Here's another thing, though: Let's look at this conversation we just had right now, and pay attention to all the negative things you've said about yourself. How would you feel if you told your Mom that her life sucked? Or if you told your sister that she'll never be fabulous enough just because she lives in the boonies?

But... wait a minute, SisMei does not live in the boonies. If I ever talked smack to her and Mom like that, they'll never talk to me again.
-Exactly. So why would you talk to me - your own Self - in the same tone of voice that you wouldn't even dare to use on your loved ones?

Aha.
-Aha, exactly. Now haul your butt out of that office chair and let's get some awesome stuff done today.

Great idea, Self.
-Any time, Self.

(Exeunt)

Slaying the Stress Monster: The Plunge

And now, a word about swimming.



At my age, I've also given up on the possibility that I would look hot in a swimsuit. Heck, I don't even swim that much any more; I barely had time to hit the water during my last few months in Honolulu, and I have yet to find a non-icky pool here in my town that isn't too far and doesn't charge through the nose. As it goes, the cutest suit in my closet is a black one-piece with good support all around and a low-cut leg; it's nice, but it's also aerodynamic enough to stay on when I actually do my laps.

The last bit is actually very, very important to me. Whenever I go to the pool, my first few laps are always the worst, because everything worries me. What if I get a leg cramp in the middle of the pool? What if I get an asthma attack and end up with a lungful of water? What if - horrors! - I actually run into ANOTHER SWIMMER?

Again, my mind is already a dangerous enough place when I'm worrying about my safety. The last thing I want is to worry about how my body looks in a swimsuit. That's why I already deal with that question when I buy the swimsuit, and even then I'm more concerned about more important things, like adequate breast support (water + boob bounce = ouchies) and wayward straps getting in the way of my freestyle stroke. Mind you, I'm just as picky as anyone else when it comes to shopping, but believe me when I say that my body insecurity ends as soon as I leave the dressing room and sign the dotted line on the receipt.

This is where my Sportswear Mantra comes in: "Cute" never saved anyone from a fatal injury. 

It's not just swimsuits, mind you. I have to go in the water with a bathing cap and goggles, because otherwise I can't see where I'm going. I'm super picky about my running shoes because I need the support; otherwise, my chances of injuring myself increase exponentially. The same thing applies to everything I use for working out, from sweatpants (no camel toes and "chub rub," please) to socks (I hate it when they lose elasticity) to sports bras (again with the boob bounce) and iPod holders (this may not be the sexiest thing on earth, but it's the best for keeping the iPod Touch from slipping while I work out)... and let's not even forget the waterproof SPF, if there's going to be sun exposure for more than an hour and a half. 

(Ironically, I slap on less sunscreen when I go out for my walk-to-run routine, only because I make sure that I leave the house when the UV rays are at their weakest. The only concession I make for vanity, in this case, is to brush my hair before leaving the house.)

By the time I make sure that everything's been strapped down, tied up, and ready to go, I don't have any brain power left to think about what people will say when they look at me - even if I do, indeed, look like the product of Lady Gaga's one-night stand with Cthulhu. Just don't take it too personally if I don't notice you, because I'm just trying to get past this same lap as you are... and the sooner I finish without hurting anyone, the better it will be for both of us.

Slaying the Stress Monster: The Mind and the Competition

These are the words that have been instrumental in helping me get my head together:

Every thought is a choice.
Every choice leads to a decision.
Every decision leads to an action.
Every action has the potential to change a life... not just your life, but the lives of those around you.

On paper, it looks so simple - but in real life? Oh, dear heavens, no.

Believe me when I say that I have the capability of ruining my own day with a simple thought. It always starts with something that sounds so harmless at first:  I'm so tired. I feel ugly. I'm surrounded by morons. Then I go about my day, and suddenly I do find myself feeling tired, ugly, and surrounded by morons. Sooner rather than later, I've already collapsed on the couch crying... or, worse, I'm crying and can't even sit on my couch any more, because I've already taken out my frustration on every single piece of furniture in the house.

Maybe I can't help it because I'm just as human as you are, but seriously: It really doesn't have to be that way.

For the longest time, I've told myself that I wasn't a jock, not into sports, nowhere near being an athlete in any shape or form. This may be true in some aspects of my life, but I used this line of thinking to deliberately hold me back from taking my exercise routine seriously - and, in the process, it has actually kept me from taking my own health seriously. But I didn't know that; I just wanted to be a hedonist and do away with the pain altogether.

Eventually, when I did step back to take a look at all the crappy choices I've made in my life, I did see a pattern: It wasn't the exercise itself that brought me down, but my refusal to pursue activities that I really enjoyed. Note that I said "refusal" here, because let's face it - if I really wanted to take those classes in yoga or ballroom dancing, I would've done anything and everything in my power to fit them into my schedule, even if it meant ponying up crazy amounts of money for fees and equipment. The exercise didn't have to wear me down, because I was already doing a great job of doing that to myself.

In short, I have become my own toughest competition... and I wasn't going to keep letting Meimei hold Meimei back any more.

Think about it: Nobody else eats my food for me, and nobody else gets to lose my weight for me. None of the hot celebrities, gossipy tabloids, and real-life sexy people of the world are addressing me directly and telling me personally that I'm an unworthy human being. The fact that I'm actually still alive - to say the least of finishing graduate school and writing a beauty blog for five years - is proof enough for me that I'm not here to waste any time or space on any kind of whining and lolly-gagging. And, honestly, if you do believe in a higher power, like I do - regardless of where you stand on religion - you probably may have realized by now that the real struggle between good and evil begins within the individual self.

Again, nobody is holding a gun to your head... and even in the off chance that somebody really is doing just that, you still get to decide if keeping it there is the right idea. If you knew that your decisions will lead to action - and the action that you choose to do could change more than one life in the long run - what kind of a choice will you be able to make, and how are you going to make it?

Slaying the Stress Monster

Here's the thing: I'm back on the exercise kick right now. This has nothing to do with swimsuit season, though it is coming up in a few weeks over here in the Philippines. Nor does it have anything to do with weight loss... okay, fine, so I can stand to lose a lot of weight, but I've already stopped crying over those last twenty pounds not too long ago, and I'm not going to start up all that drama again right now.

My main goal for this exercise kick? Stress relief.

Mind you, it's not exactly a good sign when you go to your doctor for a respiratory infection - like I did three months ago - and you walk away with two weeks' worth of meds for your high blood pressure. Add to that the job situation I've been in since the beginning of the year, and you can see why I consider it a miracle that I've been able to get through this without going on a massive hate rampage.

So basically, according to the last doctor who told me to exercise more, my stress levels look like this:



Which is ironic, considering that my sanity levels should look, on average, a little more like this:



And now you get the picture.

For the next few entries, I'll be writing more on the things that are keeping my motivation up and my stress levels low. Who knows, I might end up looking more hot in the process... but until that happens, I'll aim for "not chronically stressed" and go from there. :)

The Whitening Issue

Paint my face in your magazines
Make it look whiter than it seems
Paint me over with your dreams
Shove away my ethnicity

- Nelly Furtado, "Powerless (Say What You Want)"

So: the "whitener" issue.

Let's just get this out of the way. Yes, I am using an over-the-counter "whitening" cream right now. Yes, I understand that this creates some kind of paradox for me, because the fact that I am using one will make people wonder if I'm going to jump on the bandwagon and bleach myself away.

To which I say: People, it's just a skin cream.

The fact is, most of the over-the-counter "whitening" products that are in the Philippine market contain familiar ingredients that are meant to even out skin tone by "bleaching out" dark areas - safe chemicals like hydroquinone, kojic acid, a few hydroxy acids here, some vitamin action over there. That's fine, because they're there to help a lot of women deal with hyperpigmentation, which occurs for so many different reasons.

Ingredient issues aside, some of these ingredients are pretty safe for over-the-counter home use, and may even add a boost to any existing skincare routine. So, in and of themselves, most of these creams are harmless until definitively proven otherwise.

Except there's one thing: These skin creams are marketed for the purpose of "whitening" dark skin.

Again, it's one thing to use a fade cream to deal with your age spots, freckles, or any pigmentation issues... but it's another thing to use a cream or product that promises to give you "rosy white skin" and diminish the existing yellow undertones that you were born with in the first place.

Fine, you say, hyperpigmentation is a common problem in Asian skin; these products are made in Asia for Asians, blah blah blah. But guess what? Hyperpigmentation is not exclusive to Asians. It's also a problem with African Americans, with Latinas... heck, even the fairest of Caucasian women are using fade creams to help them out with their freckles and acne scars. While I can't be too sure if any of these women do want to be any whiter than they already are (hello, growing popularity of bronzers and tanners!), everyone agrees that they want their skin to be evenly colored, regardless of color. And guess what's in the creams that they're using to fade those pesky spots? Yep: kojic acid, hydroquinone, some hydroxy acids here, some vitamin action over there... different concentrations and price points, maybe, but pretty much all the same purpose.

There's a bigger question here about cultural identity and insecurity, of course... but I say that what we're really looking at is a conspiracy that's bigger and much more tangled than the weave on Tyra Banks' head. All these questions about skin whitening with regards to race, culture, and sexual politics point to a much, much bigger villain: the industry of beauty itself.

I'm not saying that women like me should give up on makeup, skincare, and fashion itself - otherwise, why would I bother with this blog? (Or democracy, for that matter. Heh.) But the fact remains that most consumers in the Philippines can be passive consumers.

Think about it: The majority of cosmetics lines available in the Philippine market have a limited range of foundation shades. And since foundation tends to be both the most expensive and most frustrating cosmetic product to purchase anywhere in the world, the average Filipino woman is more likely than anyone to get stuck with the wrong foundation shade, over and over again. And because a great majority of us (yes, me included) would haaaaate to let all that money and product go to waste, we keep using and using that same horrible shade of foundation anyway.

Imagine this disappointment happening to an entire market of women over and over again, to the point where retail fatigue sets in and all hope of finding the right shade has been lost. Imagine the disappointment being so vast that the average Pinay would wake up one day and realize that it's not the foundation's fault for making her skin look pasty - it's her fault for being dark and sallow in the first place, her fault for not keeping herself away from the sun. And instead of writing to the cosmetics company to demand a better range of shades, that woman turns to the whitener aisle of her local drugstore and buys a whitener for her face, a whitener for her body, thinking that all this product will turn her as pale as Nicole Kidman overnight... and life would be so much better, so much easier.

And so the cycle begins, all over again.

But what if the cycle stopped somewhere? What if the same woman stopped for a moment, looked at the ingredients of her skin cream, and realized that she was never going to turn into Snow White overnight? What if a professional were to step in between her and the product aisle - a certified dermatologist, a well-trained aesthetician, or even a very good friend - and tell her that what she's about to do is actually dangerous and potentially fatal? What if she just took one look at the mirror and realized that the best that she can do is... her skin color right now, but with a more even tone and a healthier glow?

That's the thing: The most important job of a skin cream - or any other beauty product or procedure - is to help you look more like a healthier, happier version of you. No product or procedure in the world will completely alter your skin color, your genetic makeup, or even your life's circumstances. And even when it does... well, Jocelyn Wildenstein still ended up with a broken heart, so what does it say for the rest of us?

And as for me, post-"whitening" cream, my skin is still the same sunny caramel tan color ... but at least it's a more even-toned, glowier version of said caramel tan. No need to bleach myself into oblivion here.

The Meimei Workout

In the immortal words of Rob Schneider: YOU CAN DO EEEEEEEET!!!!

Here's the deal: girl moves back in with her parents, girl finds herself with too much free time *and* not enough outlets to deal with the unnecessary drama that comes from moving away from one's comfort zone. What's a girl to do?

Solution: Work out.

PapaMei has an elliptical trainer upstairs in the room next to mine. I didn't use it during the first two weeks after I arrived (which coincided with my most emotional moments) but as soon as my temper reached past boiling point, I knew what I had to do: strap on the sneakers, crank up the reggaeton on iTunes, and get on the darn thing. The fact that I was also visualizing myself crushing my enemies like ants as I stomped, strode, pulled, and punched my way through 30 minutes of hard cardio helped a whole lot, too.

I don't recommend warming up with seething anger, but I do highly recommend exercising regularly to de-stress yourself.

Since PapaMei is no longer able to use the elliptical, I also started joining him on his daily power walks - never mind that I still needed to get up at 5:30 in the morning to join him. This was a major change for me: as much as I hate waking up before sunrise, the only thing I'd miss more than the exercise was a chance to spend quality time with my father... and that has made both of us much healthier, in every possible definition of the word.

Then I discovered that the park where we usually do our walks has public aerobic workouts on Saturday mornings. Yes, the soundtrack that the instructor uses is cheesier than a cheap pizza - and there are days when my dance-trained self would walk out after being driven to distraction by certain songs - but, hey, gotta get the exercise while I can.

MamaMei learned about this, and suggested instead that I join her and her friends for their weekly "dance exercise" lessons where they practice their group performance moves (mostly for church-related events) with a professional ballroom dancer. Next thing I know, I'm doing salsa routines to Boney M and giving Cheryl Burke a run for her money, while inspiring the more seasoned ladies to bring it. SOLD.

Now, after several weeks, I have established a routine: morning walks with PapaMei, dance lessons with MamaMei's group, public exercise on Saturday (that is, until the cheesy soundtrack gets to me and/or I get my own iPod), and - on the days when the morning walk can't be done - 30 to 40 minutes on the elliptical, or roughly the same amount of time with the yoga and Pilates DVDs that both MamaMei and I have stocked up in the past year. I actually still do yoga from time to time, in fact, to help me with my breathing and muscle conditioning; it's great for stress relief.

This week, we've started taking our morning walks to the next level by taking along the newly leash-trained DogMei with us. Before this, DogMei used to be terrified of leaving the front door - which, for the last few years, had been chalked up to a combination of cowardice and puppy trauma. Now we've trained him into calm submission, Cesar Milian-style, so he can finally act on his natural wolf instincts without the need to pick fights with all the other beasts in our neighborhood. DogMei is also a very brisk walker, which also means that I'll need to keep up with him anyway - a good sign if I'm hoping to upgrade from walking to running in the near future.

Let us not forget, too, that all this exercise is fueled by the finest fresh fruit and vegetables on Philippine soil, along with MamaMei's home cooking. Still figuring out the diet tweaks, though, so hopefully I'll be able to strike gold with a good combination soon.