Monday, October 10, 2011

Today's Dispatch: Sorry, Potatoface

This post is brought to you by the following movies that came to mind while watching The Town with Bakeks, because - as good as this movie was to us, though a little less than epic -  it also reminded us that we were better off watching any of these movies instead of sitting through The Town.

First and foremost: Blood Simple

Which was also remade by Zhang Yimou as A Woman, A Gun, and a Noodle Shop. 

Also: Out of Sight.

And... Reservoir Dogs.

(Seriously: As much as I love The Hotness and his movie-stealing ways, I'm beginning to wonder if Steve Buscemi should sue him for unlawful impersonation.)

Though I must say, to be very honest with you...

... I am more convinced than ever that Christian Bale deserved to beat The Hotness fair and square throughout the whole awards season. Sure, he's charming, and desperate, and everything... but he's still Potatoface McHotness, and I still think that the "twitchy" and "intense" thing worked better the first time around in The Hurt Locker. 

Which then made me wonder: What if he'd made a movie like this instead?

(Now I really have to see if he brings something else to the table for M:I4 and Avengers. C'mon, dude, you can do eeet!)

And finally: You know how the Fenway Park heist sequence was supposed to be intense and serious and everything? Well, I'm sorry, guys, but as soon as I saw The Hotness in dark glasses and a fake cop uniform, my mind automatically went to this:

Yes, I am a horrible person. A horrible person who actually considered dangling a Benjamin in front of that boy and daring him to fetch it with his teeth, but nooooooo - he had to go off and pull a heist and be a big frickin' antihero about it. Whatever, buddy.

Oh, yeah, and he still owes me big time.

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