Today's Dispatch: Skin and Tones

This week's tutorial was brought to you by Pixiwoo.



- Since I already brought up my new dermatologist last time, I might as well share the rest of the regimen with you guys right now. I currently use proprietary prescription-strength products for my sensitive skin, but I think this can be easily replicated with OTC products as well.

• DAY: Gentle cleanser, followed by oil-free moisturizer mixed with refining cream, and BB cream blended on top. 
• NIGHT: Gentle cleanser, followed by creamy moisturizer mixed with refining cream (on a relatively moist face), and a little cortisone cream for red spots. 
• PRODUCT SUBS: The cleanser I have right now is basically a creamier version of Cetaphil, which is not too hard to find at your local stores. I already mentioned BB creams in my previous posts, but you can also use an oil-free tinted moisturizer with sunblock instead. (The cream I'm using is similar in consistency and coverage to Benefit's You Rebel.) 

And after the jump: Too much analysis to bear, just for one single picture.

Going Blind

...Sorry, guys, but this one isn't about J. Lo. 

Up until recently, I have considered myself to be a mild gossip addict.

Sure, I've weaned myself away from the straight-up smutty items in favor of the less confrontational (and relatively more thoughtful) likes of Lainey and Crazy Days and Nights, and I still could not resist the pull of the Pinoy-centric blind items on Professional Heckler. Yet I was able to manage all that and still go to bed early.

But then... things happened.

Hello, Oscar Morning 2011!

awards night 2011 by meimei96 on Polyvore.com

By the time you read this, I am either 1) watching the Oscars or 2) writing out lesson plans for the week. One is a grueling, time-sensitive task that must be done to get things in order... and the other involves writing out my lesson plans for the week. ZING! 

(...And such is the dichotomy of my life.) 

Oh, who am I kidding here? I'm a sucker for awards shows. Hell, I could be watching the 245th Annual Fungal Disease Awards and I'd still tear up while holding an imaginary trophy and whispering "thank you, thank you, thank you" in several different languages. The only time that I didn't enjoy an awards show was when I worked backstage at one during my past life as a PR minion... and even then, there were free cocktails and hors d'oeuvres all around, so it wasn't too bad. 

I don't have much at stake for this year's awards - well, except for my undying love for Colin Firth, which I inherited from Scribey and passed on to my mom (along with my squeeing over Phil Younghusband) - but I do know that I've been preparing that acceptance speech for a huge chunk of my life... along with my outfit, accessories, and possibly even my date. 

(Which reminds me: Hello, Jeremy Renner? My aunt lives in Modesto. You could pick me up at her house next year; I'm absolutely, positively sure that she won't mind. Kthxbai.) 

Anywho, for your consideration: this year's desperate plea heartfelt tribute to the Oscars, created with Polyvore.

The Ultimate Video Style Moment

Confession: I've been watching this video on an endless loop since last night. (It's for, uh, "research" for my NaNoWriMo project. And by "research" I mean "getting out of my writer's block.")



Some thoughts:

• Wait, this came out 20 years ago!?!?!?!?!!! And it was directed by David Fincher? Has it been THAT long ago? (All I know is that I was extremely let down by "Too Funky," which was supposed to be a follow-up to "Freedom 90" - and remains one of the big reasons why I still don't get haute couture.) 
• Oh, so many girlcrush-worthy supermodels here. Naomi Campbell has never been hotter, before and since, and Christy Turlington(-Burns) is just made of wowza. (Such a versatile face!) Then there's Cindy Crawford, of course - how could anyone not notice that mole? - and Tatjana Patitz, who I just found out is aging quite nicely... though I have to admit that those shots of her with the cigarettes are pretty hot. 
• On the other hand... Linda Evangelista? Still annoying. I get that she's gorgeous and epic and everything, but something about her just bugs. 
• Also just found out that Marcus Schenkenberg is not in this video (thank goodness - the guy ended up looking really grody, didn't he?)... which then begs the question: Who were those hot guys, and why can't I find them where I should?

And if you liked this one, you should see the semi-homage created for the D+G Fragrance Anthology advertising campaign, shown here. (Warning: Some butt-flashing may be involved here. Also, WTF happened to Claudia Schiffer's body?)

...I'll stop here before I end up with another Halloween Spectacular in my hands. 

Video Style Moments, Part 2: "Closer To The Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars

I'm posting this for my brother, who remains traumatized by the Jared Leto archive on The Internet Never Forgets.

(And for longtime My So-Called Life fan Scribey, who might be traumatized to see Jordan Catalano sporting a gigantic red mohawk here.)

(And also for my niece, who I think would like this song as much as I do... even if it makes me feel old to explain the concept of Jordan Catalano to her.)

For the rest of you reading this blog: Mohawks! Nail polish! Guyliner! Anything less would be a letdown.

What's Your (Ruined) Fantasy: The "Oh, Honey, NO" Edition

Since it's been the kind of week where LOLs are few and far between, I've been checking out The Internet Never Forgets, which posts cheesy pictures of (currently) hot actors during the hungriest periods of their life.

There are a lot of gems to be had here; the entire sections for Jared Leto and Jensen Ackles alone should supply you with enough cringeworthy laughs for a lifetime, to say the least of Robert Pattinson and Brad Pitt.

THIS, however, is my favorite one of all: 

"Someday soon I'm gonna make you a vampire. Da doo NOM NOM NOM, da doo NOM NOM."

Yes, I know that Ian Somerhalder rarely takes a bad picture; this archive is proof of that. Still and all though, it's proof that no sane male should ever attempt to take their hairstyling cues from Shaun Cassidy circa 1978.

(Apropos of nothing, I used to have a Shaun Cassidy T-shirt that I inherited from my sister... who, for the sake of this discussion, counts him as one of her lame celebrity ex-boyfriends, alongside Leif Garrett. If we had known that cable television and the Internet were going to be invented, we would never have spent so much time squee-ing our heads out at the Record Bar section of SM Makati.)  

To compensate for this, I shall direct you to a relatively non-heinous picture of Mr. Somerhalder himself.

I am aware that his face is kind of crooked... but still, not that hard to look at from my point of view. Also, you're welcome. 

The Case Against Lipstick

Anne Curtis, original flavor:

Anne Curtis, at the recent Star Magic ball:

Okay, Anne - I know that you don't always have good taste, and sometimes you just don't get the "dressy" thing right all of the time. But... well, you don't look like yourself here. It's as if you've decided to dress up as Lea Michele playing the Bride of Frankenstein in a very special Goth-themed episode of Glee.

This, my dear, is a fine example of how even a gorgeous ball gown can be ruined by less-than-perfect styling from the clavicle upwards.

Maybe it would be a good idea for you (and your stylists in charge) to step away from the full-coverage lipstick once in a while? I'd suggest starting here and here.

Pump and Lift, Episode 17: I Will Rise Up and Crush You*

...Yes, kids, that's what Sharon Cuneta looks like now. 

I mention Sharon here - and I say this as one who's equally enamored of all the Great Actresses in the Filipino movie industry - because I just found out that she will be hosting the Philippine edition of The Biggest Loser. At first I thought it was a joke - considering that a lot of people have been making fun of her weight lately, and especially since she's supposed to host her own cooking show - but it's a good thing that she herself didn't take it as an insult. 

Which brings us to where I am right now. 

Unlike Sharon Cuneta, I do not have other bloggers making passive-aggressive comments about how "believable" my weight loss really is in real life. Nor do I have actual real-life people making the same kinds of comments as well. Thank goodness for that. 

What is disheartening, however, is the fact that I had actually spent an entire week without doing a single exercise of note... which only meant that I've lost my muscle tone, my mojo, and my hard-won discipline over everything else I've worked on these last few months. 

Sure, I didn't end up going back to my old size, but I really felt like giving up on everything else, because I just felt defeated all around. 

And it took me a while... but there I was the other day, using my newly-purchased 2.5 lb weights to get through a workout and fighting for the burn that I've always missed this whole entire time. And I felt so much better, to the point where I did go back to checking those test papers, all psyched up and ready to unleash some major pwnage on it all. 

It took me a while, but I finally did find my own Sharon Moment. And this time, I'm going to make sure that it all sticks. 

*For the Tagalog-speaking readers out there, it's definitely Babangon Ako't Dudurugin Kita. You're welcome, repapips. 

The Aforementioned Fun Post, aka This Blog Entry? Is Bananas.

After much wallowing (and philosophical musings on how the best way to honor the dead is to keep on living, blah blah stop watching TV news already) I've decided that it was about time I gave myself something to smile about.

Hence: Rachel Zoe.



I don't know what it is about her; she used to come across as stuck up and annoying, but I actually found her endearing on The Rachel Zoe Project. I caught the episode where her assistants are trying to style her to deflect rumors about her weight, and she almost cries because she was attending a friend's event and didn't want it to be about her, even with the press around. No wonder she looks and feels haggard all the time. 

(Side note, as far as body issues are concerned: Every time I look at my batwing arms and wonder whether or not I should get plastic surgery for them, all I need to do is look at Rachel Zoe's triceps and remind myself that - regardless of weight loss or exercise intensity - arm flab is a common reality for most women. I mean, So. Real.)

Then there's the Harper's Bazaar shoot, which - gallows humor aside - is actually a better rendering of "I Die" than the similar spread that Preview did on the same topic of accessories. Whereas the Preview story focused more on gorgeous shoes worn by tragic suicides, this one strikes me more as endearing mockery, as if to remind people that it's pretty ridiculous and OTT to die die for fabulous accessories. Besides, the whole Rachel Zoe-and-frenemies concept reminds me of Mel Brooks and Jerry Zucker... and I'm a fan of that kind of comedy, so I'm biased.

So, yeah. I'm liking the former Rachel Rosenzweig a whole lot more now. And that's just cool.

Randomesticity: Surprises and Packages

First: the news...

• Edward Norton is getting closer to being reinstated on The List, one step at a time. I have a love-hate relationship with the guy, but it's things like being named as a UN Goodwill Ambassador that make me love him all the more. That, and the chance encounter that Scribey and I had with him at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland two years ago. (Has it really been that long?) 
• And once again: Anna, Anna, Anna. I am so glad that you are a good Catholic girl, and you are sticking to your word on the whole Role Model thing instead of going full-on skank. (Not to mention the ElleGirl gig - good for you, I say!) That said... why, oh, why do you want to tie your career to the fortunes of the Jonas Brothers? As long as you don't show up on JustJared Jr playing JoBro Roulette with Demi Lovato, you should be safe.

And now, the package...

See the Yoshitomo Nara-inspired packing tape? That, my friends, is the height of cool.

What's underneath all that bubble-wrap, you ask? Well, it's the contents of a special package from Tokyo - courtesy of longtime reader Kuri - chock-full of beauty goodies to keep this blogger happy! Stay tuned!

The Case for the Basics: Soap and Other Cleansing Bars (Now with 100% More Dingdong!)

Before I begin this entry, here's one major reason why I can't stand Dingdong Dantes:

I kid you not - you are looking at a grown man who models underwear and still calls himself DINGDONG. That's all I'm going to say on the matter.

Anyway, one of the few things that made Mr. Jose Sixto Dantes III less annoying for me came from a recent interview where he said that his biggest pet peeve was going into a public restroom and finding - gack - an empty soap dispenser. As someone for whom restroom soap is a major deal-breaker, I can say that I totally sympathized with him, right then and there.

But it did get me thinking about my feelings on soap, cleansing bars, and body washes in general.

Somebody Please Explain This To Me

Curtis Stone showing up on Celebrity Apprentice? Baffling.

Curtis Stone showing up on Celebrity Apprentice with THIS haircut, on the other hand?

Credit: Screencap taken from Television Without Pity. 

This makes me wonder:

- Does this mean American audiences will finally be exposed to Surfing The Menu - or any variation thereof involving Australian food? (Please please please please please make it so!)

- Considering that Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution just started running around the same time as Celebrity Apprentice, is there some kind of unknown clause that prevents two messy-haired blond chefs (with matching accents and Oprah-approved credentials) from showing up on American network television at the same time? And if this clause does not exist, does that mean that we can finally have Jamie Oliver and Curtis Stone in the same room without the risk of the universe imploding unto itself?

- Speaking of Jamie Oliver, and apocalyptic scenarios: Does this mean Anthony Bourdain will start raining insults on Curtis Stone for being the hunky embodiment of Everything That's Wrong With Cookery These Days? And if so, will said insults involve graphic descriptions of grievous bodily harm? (Remember, kids - there used to be a time when your Uncle Tony was a big meanie.)

- Will this serve as a sign for Guy Fieri to get a new look? 

- Can we start the betting pool on how long it will take before Curtis shows us his lamingtons on television? (Hee hee, I said "lamingtons.")

- Between this and the entire roster of this season's Dancing With the Stars (Evan Lysacek, how could you?) have the casting directors for celebrity-packed reality shows been smoking some industrial-strength hallucinogens lately?

- And the most pressing question of all: What, was Sandra Leeway too busy for Celebrity Apprentice?

Special Commentary: The 2010 Oscars

My original plan was to take the whole morning off and watch the Oscars live on TV, but apparently I got the wrong memo about plans to broadcast it on one of the local channels. (I blame Willie Revillame.) Anyway, after I stopped pouting and complaining, I got down to business with the shenanigan-free CNN live blog - since I always save the commentary on the opening numbers and presenters for later - and after looking at the wire photos of all nominees from PopEater, this is how I ended up dress-wise:

(click for an enlarged photo) 

Okay, so I put up Maggie Gyllenhaal as #10 for the giggles (though, in fairness, pink lipstick with a Blue Hawaii print is never a good idea) but otherwise, I've never seen so many meh dresses all-around. Again, maybe it's my lack of fashion know-how talking, but all the grays and metallics and exact flesh-tone on flesh-tone have not been working for me, at all. It's telling how this is probably the first Oscars night where I've seen the fleshier women (Gabourey Sidibe, Mo'Nique, and Queen Latifah) working their dresses and looking better than some of the average-sized actresses in the house... and the "regular" ones who look good (like Cameron Diaz and Penelope Cruz) seem to be the ones who have gained weight.

Also, when if I ever get nominated for an Oscar - or, really, if I end up attending any other major awards ceremony that could be televised - I am going to ask for a dress just like Mo'Nique's. I love how age-appropriate it is, while still looking very gorgeous. (Though I have to ask somebody here in the audience tonight: Did Monique Lhuillier design this? EDIT @8:09 PM: According to nymag.com, it's Tadashi Shoji.) 

I can defend my unpopular choices, though: I like Carey Mulligan's dress - in theory, not in execution - because the design is reminiscent of the best vintage couture. (See also: Filipino actress Anne Curtis in vintage Slim's.) Likewise with Anna Kendrick, who just lost more points in terms of color choice than on the dress itself. Meryl, of course, is Meryl, so I'm just happy that she has shown up looking as un-frumpy as possible. And, yes, Kate Winslet looks like a tin can, but: Remember when she wore that green dress (was it Givenchy x Alexander McQueen?) while Helen Hunt wore a similar tin-can-looking Gucci gown?  I've always felt - even back then - that Kate and Helen would've looked better if they switched dress designs, so I think that the dress Kate is wearing now is basically serving as karmic payback for that moment.

Some notes: 

- Guys, why so much tonsorial FAIL? I cannot even begin to describe my sadness over seeing Peter Sarsgaard as a bald man - which is, possibly, the single biggest waste of hair since Jeff Bridges went for the cue-ball look in Iron Man - but that's nothing compared to seeing Zac Efron, who eerily resembles a Ryan Seacrest clone. And... good gravy, Judd Nelson really looks like death warmed over, doesn't he?

- That said: I would have lumped Jeremy Renner in the Hair FAIL category, too - what is up with the goatee? - except that I would totally make out with him (pending approval from my new boyfriend) now that Peter has gone bald. Also, Ryan Reynolds is looking particularly hot right now... and so is Colin Firth, who will always be marvelous to me for as long as he keeps his hair.

- Hair FAIL, female division: Tina Fey; Vera Farmiga; and J.Lo (eeek!).

- Kristen Stewart is wearing black. Yes, it's a Monique Lhuillier, but: snore.

- Faith Hill: Tremenduously boring. Also, her makeup looks super creepy up close. Trust me on this one, everybody.

- Another person with scary makeup: Sarah Jessica Parker, who looks even more like an alien in that Chanel couture gown. Poor thing, but that's what she gets for aligning herself with pure evil. 

- And since we're talking makeup, I'm just surprised by how meh the makeup has been this year. Penelope Cruz and Nicole Richie both got the whole smoky-eyeliner thing right, but that's because it's expected of them. Obviously I'm not feeling the bright lipstick thing on everyone else, which I think could only look good on somebody wearing a neutral outfit like Sandra Bullock (and could've helped Anna Kendrick by miles) - otherwise, a bright gown always goes better with more natural tones on the face, as in the case with Gabby Sidibe. But I guess I'm expecting too much?

- Dear Charlize Theron: The creators of this cake need to have a word with you. Also, the folks from the Wilton company called to remind you that the Dessert Decorator Pro(TM) is not recommended for use on evening gowns. Kthxbai.

- Since my entire family is finally over Miley Cyrus, it's about time I finally said this: Girlfriend is definitely overrated, and has TERRIBLE posture.

That's it, folks!

EDITED (@5:37 PM) to add this: Good gravy, what is UP with that gardenia corsage in Mo'Nique's hair? That's just plain foolishness! Points off, but not by much by virtue of the dress. And also, I refuse to acknowledge Demi Moore's dress - as hot as she is - because there's just no excuse for the tan-on-tan color scheme. ICK. 

And, as a bonus: Enjoy Allure's slideshow on the Top 9 Big-Screen Beauty Moments of 2010!

Gone Rouge

Since we just mentioned Chanel's Rouge Coco in the last entry, I thought I'd amp up the scarlet fever (pun intended) with a video that goes behind the scenes of the Lady Dior Rouge ad campaign, with Marion Cotillard.



Apparently this latest version of the Lady Dior ad campaign/ short-film series - which includes a song penned by the guys from Franz Ferdinand, sung by Marion herself - is supposed to come out any time now. Until then, enjoy!

Randomesticity: Random Acts of Hotness

 A picture of me with my new haircut, plus neutral makeup and pearls. Career girl, much?

Today, on this special edition of Randomesticity: beauty and pop culture news!

BEAUTY




- Above: Chanel Rouge Coco. 'Nuff said.

- Okay, MAC, you got me again - Too Fabulous is exactly that, and more. Those of you who missed the blushes from the Colour Forecast collections would find the Mineralize Blush Duos to be of interest.

- Cover Girl is promising that they can match shades from any department store brand using their online matching system. Whether or not they can deliver on their promises, however, depends on how you feel about CG's formulations. (My opinion only: Not a fan of their lip gloss, but I really like their eyeshadows and mascaras just fine, and I'm trying to get my hands on their lipstain as we speak.)

- Speaking of eyeshadows: Maybelline's EyeStudio shadows have been available in Asia for quite some time, but I prefer the shade selection from the American version of the quads.

- Beauty vlogger alert! If you haven't tuned in to sisters Elle and Blair - aka AllThatGlitters21 and Juicystar07, respectively - you owe it to yourselves to check 'em out. I'm predicting Lauren Luke-like success for these young ladies, so it would behoove the makers of their favorite brands (lookin' atcha, NYX and Lush) to snap them up as collaborators soon.

POP CULTURE HOTNESS

- And now it has come to this: A cute photo of Apolo Anton Ohno with Charles Hamelin. Or, as I like to call it, Two Dudes Who Could Really Use a Spa Day. (I kid, I kid.)

- Speaking of hot dudes on ice: I demand to know who on earth had the brilliant idea of casting Evan Lysacek on this season of Dancing With The Stars, because that boy is the very definition of HOT DAMN! (Unfortunately, the cable channels in my neck of the woods don't carry DWTS, so said embodiment of HOT DAMN! won't be showing up on my TV until I can get BitTorrent to work.)

Also: According to Google Search, Canada does not exactly have their own home-grown edition of DWTS. Well, there goes my dream of watching a Hamelin brother perform the paso doble in a sparkly costume...

- In the mood for some hot Filipino dishiness? Well, guess what I just read in the paper this morning...

DEREK RAMSAY IS SINGLE! DEREK RAMSAY IS SINGLE!* 

(*pending actual confirmation of actual split with his girlfriend from all parties involved, which means I'm taking this news with an entire box of Kosher Salt)

OTHER  RANDOMNESS

-  So I did get the Ford Focus hatchback that I wrote about earlier, and now I can drive it around - short distances mostly, though I am [theoretically] capable of driving this baby on a highway. What I still don't have in the car, however, is an iPod adapter - but the good news is that it does have a CD player, so I'm looking forward to loading it up with some cool sounds. Some of the CDs I'd like to get for the car: Alicia Keys' The Element of Freedom (am I the only person on earth who can't wait to see the video for "Put It in a Love Song" - and not in an ironic, "let's see how Beyonce and Alicia could out-crazy each other" kind of way?); Sade's Soldier of Love; and Vampire Weekend's Contra. And the new Michael Buble album, which I'm borrowing from my Dad.

- On top of the career craziness that's been happening these last two months (board exams! new jobs!) I'm also trying to carve out time to write more fiction. In fact, I've started taking on the mother of all fiction projects by writing... gaaaak... a screenplay.  I can't promise this will end well, but I will try my best.

Credits: Yours truly (yours truly) and PinoyCelebrities.net (Derek Ramsay). No samples were provided by the manufacturers of all beauty products mentioned in this story. 


EDITED (03/05/2010) to add that the same paper that reported Derek Ramsay's availability now says that he did get back together with the girlfriend. Awwwwww. Which means I can return to my ongoing plans for world domination. 

Because It Just Had To Be Said

And because I'm more excited about the Winter Olympics than I should be at this point...

Hair like THIS?

Deserves a hair-care system like THIS:

I kid, I kid. (What can I say, the Seventies came pretty late to the Philippines when I was growing up.)

Credits: Greenopia.com (Shaun White) and Vermont Country Store (Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific... yes, they still sell that stuff online, folks)

The Hair. THE HAIR.

You may have probably noticed that some of the male "hotties" that I often mention on this blog share a vaguely similar trait: wavy, messy, slightly grungy hair. Peter Sarsgaard, in Shattered Glass? Guilty. Simon Baker, in The Mentalist? Doubly guilty. Rafe Spall, in the entirety of that placeholder post from last summer? Definitely guilty on all counts, and should be sentenced to several weeks' worth of deep-conditioning treatments if he didn't know what was best for him.

[/still bitter because I've watched Hot Fuzz a billion times on TV, and yet nobody has taken my idea of casting Andy Cartwright as Patrick Jane's brother in The Mentalist - okay, not really, but still]

Let us not even forget the glory that used to be Gerard Butler's hair in the otherwise craptastic Dracula 2000...



...to say the least of my long-standing, old-guy crush on Jeff Bridges and his glorious head of hair, which not even the all-over grunginess of Crazy Heart could obscure. (Yes, it broke my heart when he had to go bald for Iron Man.)

(And, at this time, we should point out that Jeremy Renner has responded by thanking Colin Firth, Jason Statham, and Gilles Marini for reintroducing him to the concept of soap and water. Heh.) 

I mention this because I have been following the men's speed-skating events in the Winter Olympics, which means that I have been regularly exposed to THIS: 

 
Ladies and gentlemen, Canadian short-track speed-skater Charles Hamelin: frequent record holder, and one of the few folks outside of Team USA or the South Korean team worth betting on during the heats.

Here, the hair looks pretty good... but on the ice, when it's barely concealed by that speed-skating helmet? Good grief. Frizz everywhere, with the woolly beard hair sticking out like overgrown moss from under the chin strap and over the collar. Every single time that my Dad and I watch speed-skating, I always point to him and say, "Hey, it's the Canadian guy with Jesus hair." (No offense to my own Lord and Savior, but... really.)

The crazy part of it all is that the combination of all that grungy hair with the helmet, rainbow-tint Oakleys, and full-body spandex uniform takes so much of the pretty away from poor Charles. In fact, as I was sizing up the competitors for speed skating based on how they looked on the track alone, I actually thought that Francois Hamelin looked much, much better than his brother. (Never mind that, outside of the uniform, Francois is basically the French Canadian version of B.J. Novak.)

Eye candy factor aside, I like watching short-track speed skating because it's not that hard to watch: everyone skates fast, and whoever gets to the finish line without tripping over the other person or falling on one's rear end wins. And while I have a lot of respect for les freres Hamelin and the South Korean skating team, I also have to give a shoutout to Team USA - not just for my mestizo homeboy J.R. Celski, but also for Apolo Anton Ohno... who will always have my undying love and respect, just for THIS:



Credits: anthonygeorge.wordpress.com via Google Images (Jeff Bridges); Le Blogue de Le Point via Google Images (Charles Hamelin) 

EDITED @ 2/27/2010 to differentiate between speed skating and short-track speed skating. BIG distinction. Also to fix some major punctuation issues. 

Trendwatch 2010: OMG Chef Iz Daddeh!

And now... a return from a much-needed Lenten mini-break. 

Fact: Having kids changes everything. I'm a childless singleton myself, but I've seen it so many times with my friends who've just had kids (including Scribey) that it's definitely undeniable.

Fact: Having kids changes everything, especially when you're a dude. This I don't have to explain, since I live with my parents and I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the things my dear PapaMei did before fatherhood changed his life.

Fact: If you are a male chef - and especially if you are a male celebrity chef of certain prominence and/ or notoriety - having kids will change everything in ways that you would never expect.

Okay, so "celebrity chefs as dads" is not a new trend. Gordon Ramsay and Tom Colicchio have kids; so do Mario Batali, Emeril Lagasse, and Tyler Florence. Heck, even Christopher Kimball has kids. (Not that I'd doubt Mr. Bowtie's ability to reproduce; I just don't want to know how, is what I'm saying.)  Some of the chef-hosts I've seen from the Food Network Canada reruns shown here, like Michael Smith and Roger Mooking, have talked about how Becoming A Dad has changed their culinary approaches.

What does stand out as trend-worthy, however, is the concept of fatherhood as a signifier of major change in a chef's public image.

Witness, for example, Jamie Oliver's speech at the TED 2010 conference:




And then, there's our favorite potty-mouthed culinary bad boy (and known embodiment of the chef-as-debauched rock star archetype) Anthony Bourdain, turning up as a guest star in - of all places - Yo Gabba Gabba! 



In fact, now that I've mentioned this, I'd like to go ahead and nominate a few more food-show hosts for the inevitable on-screen "OMG I IZ DADDEH!" epiphany:

• David Rocco (Food Network Canada): I want to hate him based on his show alone; he has the face and body of a GQ model, lives in Italy with his gorgeous wife, and gets to cook - and eat - all sorts of fresh and delicious Italian food while exploring a life that I can only dream of... in other words, the male version of Giada de Laurentiis. His Wikipedia entry, however, mentions that he and his aforementioned wifey just had equally beautiful twin daughters, so I'm totally looking forward to the episodes where he cooks for the girls.
  
• Adam Richman (Travel Channel, USA): Now here's a thought for you - the guy from Man Vs. Food, taking time out of his busy schedule of chowing down and pigging out to reproduce. Regardless of how that thought is coming into your mind right now, you gotta admit that it's more palatable (pun intended) than seeing Andrew Zimmern on Sesame Street.
  
• Bob Blumer (Food Network Canada): Not that I would know if he's available - let alone willing, for that matter - but I've already stated in this very blog that I am willing to volunteer myself for the cause, so that's that...
  
• Curtis Stone (late of TLC, though I still prefer him on Surfing the Menu): ...Annnnnd, in the off-chance that Bob Blumer really isn't up to the task, I'm going to join that very long line of female shoppers at Whole Foods who have been waiting for him to, um, be taken home for the purpose of spawning his messy-haired babies. Heh.
  
• Guy Fieri (Food Network USA). On second thought... um, no.

Styling a Diva

I promised a post on the Charice gig on V-day, so here it is.

Here are some "before" shots from the sponsor's commercials that ran during the concert:

Yes, she is wearing a sequined sweater vest here. Talk among yourselves.

This screencap comes courtesy of a cheese-spread commercial where Charice is supposedly doing karaoke in what looks like a school uniform. I don't have any problems with the outfit or the voice, but I do have a problem with the way she pronounces the words "mini burger" and "eggplant roll." (Though, to be fair, I have a bigger problem with processed spreadable cheese on mini burgers and eggplant rolls.)

And now for the concert...

Let's be honest here, since she is, after all, wearing a chiffon cape (!) with bejewelled (!!) and fringed (!!!) epaulets (!!!!) over a black unitard and silver cage heels.This is the kind of outfit that would look totally ridiculous on, say, Alicia Keys, but on a petite young'un like Charice it looks very modern. The details don't overwhelm her completely, and the lines actually make her look much taller. Plus I love the flat-ironed hair here, which makes her look more like Devon Aoki.

Then there's this:

Again, a pure performance outfit (ie. not applicable offstage), yet I think that the dress is nicely proportioned to the girl, and the black is a nice contrast to the bright silver on the corsetry and the microphone. Cute! The dress also became a moment in itself, when her duet partner (singer Erik Santos) became so transfixed - okay, distracted - by the framework of the dress, that he couldn't stop touching her skirt while singing... not in a pervy way (minds out of the gutter, people!) but more like a cat distracted by the shiny, shiny ornaments on a very shiny Christmas tree.

Also, I forgot to make a note here, but my Mom and I noticed that she was wearing some large cuff bracelets on both wrists, which practically covered both of her forearms throughout the night - basically, wider versions of this:

Again: ooooo, shiiiiiiiiny.

I didn't get any shots of the other outfits from this concert (a red Michael Jackson-inspired jacket over the unitard, and a knee-length red tank dress with a skirt covered in fabric roses), but overall I'm actually pleased by the way our favorite young singer has been styled for this concert. Nothing too overtly sexual, overtly babyish, or just plain overwhelming for this kid - just a lot of fun fashion that doesn't wear her down. It's pretty obvious that the girl's already using her performance wardrobe as a way of experimenting with fashion; here's hoping for more stylish risk-taking in the future.


Credits: Pictures from concert taken by Meimei and PapaMei. Bracelet picture from Polyvore.

What's NOT Your Fantasy: The Non-Augmented Reality Edition

Okay, folks, let's be honest here, because I know for the record that these "celebrity" "fragrances" do exist...

Would you like to smell like this guy?

(I kid you not, Jersey Shore fans: The Situation really is coming out with his own brand of cologne. Insert offensive Italian-American stereotype jokes here.)

Or would you rather prefer to take your olfactory cues from this guy?

(I kid you not, my dear Pinoy readers - the Bench store at Alabang Town Center has a ginormous display window advertising the new Willie Revillame fragrance. Insert offensive jokes about stereotypical Filipino TV-watching habits here.)*

 *EDITED (2/13/2010) to include a photo of the Willie Revillame fragrance, courtesy of the Philippine Star: 

Seriously: Death is not an option. And neither is anosmia. YOU MUST CHOOSE!





Photo credits: E! Online and pinoygigs.com. 

And for those of you who need something to rinse out these horrid thoughts from your soul, may I recommend the Hotties section of this blog, dedicated to those who might actually deserve their own cologne.

(Insert jokes about Peter Sarsgaard hawking Eau de Predatory Douchebag here, alongside jokes about Jeremy Renner smelling like gunpowder, flop sweat, and Skittles. Heh.)