The Tough Go Shopping

At one of the lowest points of my life, I had brand-name cosmetics and toiletries from the finest department stores. I had great shoes, lingerie, brand new books from Borders, and at least one CD a week from Tower Records.

I was also in college and using my parents' credit line to buy all of that stuff.

I look back on that time now - all those BeneFit eyeshadows and Nine West shoes in one hand, and endless arguing with my Dad on the other - and I understand now that I was using shopping to fill a spiritual void. I was, in other words, a living example of HALT: hungry, angry, lonely, tired.

I'll admit that I came away from that addiction with a better understanding of fashion and beauty, knowing that just because somebody tells you to buy something doesn't mean that you go out and do just that. And yet, that same addiction also left me adrift in so many ways: How could I truly appreciate the value of currency and hard work, if all I was going to do was blow it out on the newest trend or fad? Did I even have an idea that all those sales clerks that gave me so much attention and care were no substitute for spending time with real friends that would've appreciated my time?

I guess that's part of the reason why my blog always seems sparse compared to the other beauty blogs in the same genre: How can I convince you - truly, genuinely be convincing to you - to look as fabulous as you feel, when I can't even scrounge up enough for groceries? I'm not saying that the other bloggers have it better than I do; maybe they do, maybe they don't... but that doesn't mean I should pounce at the bit every single time MAC comes out with a new collection just so I can catch up with everyone else. It's not realistic for me - and even if it was financially viable, I don't think I can live with myself if I have ten billion new eyeshadows and not a lot of days for me to wear them.

(Yeah yeah, you must've heard me whine about that too... but let's move on.)

In the years since I got my credit line cut off from The Bank of Mom and Dad, I learned the hard way that I can't stay young and party-hearty forever. Going to the public library for books has significantly reduced the clutter created from buying one too many paperbacks at Borders. Cotton underwear proved to be more durable and practical than overpriced lacy nothings. The rise of iTunes made it easier for me to just buy That One Song I Like instead of spending for whole albums. Netflix and YouTube has broadened my entertainment options beyond episodic TV and artsy first run movies.

And of course, when it comes to the fashionable stuff, I find that it's best to do the research and spend more money on a few items of quality. That explains why my shoes go to the cobbler, my jeans go to the tailor, and the one crazy-colored MAC eyeshadow that I do have (aside from the palettes and the neutrals) turns out to be the one that's getting relaunched this spring.

Which brings us back to HALT:

If I'm hungry, I get nourishment... not just for my body, but more importantly for my soul.

If I'm angry, I deal with it... and if I can't deal with it rationally, I must disengage.

If' I'm lonely, I call a friend... and if they're not always around, I must remember that there are others who could use a helping hand.

If I'm tired, I stop... and rest.

Brush Cleansing: A Revelation

This entry starts with the ongoing drama that I have with my hair - what with the breakage and the thinning and the sudden haircut - and the resulting backlash, starting with an insta-purge of hair products from my bathroom. One of the products that instantly left my shower stall was this shampoo:

I really wanted to like the Daily Shampoo from Fantastic Sam's, but the silicone totally did not agree with me because it always left my hair flat and over-conditioned. So while I was in the middle of "benching" this with the other shampoos, I remembered something I had read about washing one's makeup brushes with a 2-in-1 shampoo to keep them in good shape.

(Side note: I haven't gone through the Internet just yet to figure out where I read it, but I have a feeling that this was advice given by a beauty blogger who's not on my blogroll. Anyone care to step up and help me on this? Thanks.)

So that gave me the inspiration to wash all of my current makeup brushes with shampoo.

Now, the thing to remember here is that I already have the MAC Brush Cleaner at home, which I keep in a tiny spray bottle. I swear by this stuff to get my brushes clean on the quick, but because I spray it on (and wipe it on a tissue or paper towel afterwards) it has a tendency to not get most of my brushes as clean as I like. Since most of them were already grungy in the first place, I went ahead and used the shampoo on all of them - naturals and synthetics, from the cheapest of cheap deals to my prized stash from MAC and Sephora. Then I let them air dry, lying flat, and fluffed them out as soon as they were dry.

The results were astounding: Not only did it keep all of my brushes clean, every single brush came out in fabulous, near-new condition. My MAC #224 brush, for example, came out softer and less prone to shedding, and my Sephora travel blush brush (basically a shorter version of this) came out as soft as it was from the day I bought it, without any breakage. The Taklon brushes in my collection also came out more pliable and workable, as well.

The most astounding result, however, was the combination of the shampoo and a kabuki brush that I had bought from Wal-Mart for about $5, which I thought was already a lost cause: it had not only lost its shape, but it was shedding like crazy, and not even the MAC Brush Cleaner or even a once-over with regular soap could save it. One swish with the shampoo, however, and as soon as it dried out it was back to being its soft, bouncy, well-behaved self. Amazing! It just had to be the silicone, I'm sure.

Bottom line: Even if you already have a fine brush cleaner at hand, it doesn't hurt to use an actual shampoo - especially one with silicone-based conditioners in it - to de-gunk your brushes once in a while. Your brushes will not only come out cleaner, but better conditioned for use as well... and who knows, you might even be able to save more $$$$ in the long run, even if you do decide to switch to yet another shampoo.

Never Can Say Goodbye: This Month's Clearance List

And so the economic downturn begins, with a look at the online sale racks and clearance bins at your favorite beauty stores....

Sephora: There really is a couple of schaedenfreude-licious entries here, like the No!No! and SkinFusion (although I'll admit that I've got my eye on this set, and I'm hoping against hope that it's still available when my tax refund rolls in). I'm also sad about all the Vincent Longo stuff here, although I'm probably just hoping that it's just a matter of the brand moving, to, say, Ulta or Bath and Body Works instead, and not because the company itself is losing money. Otherwise, there are good deals to be had here, especially when it comes to the sets for makeup and body products. Also, get those on10 lip balms while you can; it's the perfect combination of scent, flavor, SPF and price.

MAC: Website redesign notwithstanding, the Featured Goodbyes are a good place to look at a few things you may have missed from the last, oh, ten billion color collections they've issued last year. Yes, it's a pity that they're still selling the regular stuff at regular price (standard practice, I realized, after looking at the bye-bye lists at other department-store brand sites), but if you're the kind of person who did find the most perfect shade of eyeshadow ever but couldn't come back to the store for it, this is always a good place to start. There's also a feature where you can plug in the name of your fave now-discontinued MAC product and check out their recommendations; it's not as accurate as, say, doing a search on Specktra, but it's a good start.

Bath and Body Works: Here's a confession - I like going to the clearance bins at the actual B&BW stores because I always find better deals there than I would online. Unfortunately, since there's no Mainland trip in the future (unless I'm crazy enough to convince my sister to pay extra for a suitcase containing nothing but Bath and Body Swag), I'll have to content myself with sifting through the online sales and clearance bins. Take this page, for example: Some of the stuff are cheesy leftovers from the holidays, and the lipglosses - with the exception of the Bigelow Mentha stuff, of course - leave much to be desired... but just mention the words "Japanese Cherry Blossom" and "Velvet Tuberose" to me, and I'll start raving like a madwoman. Since I'm also easily amused, I find myself drawn to the Lippmann Collection nailpolishes, especially Stop and Stare (what, no "Apologize"?) and Shut Up and Drive (very Rihanna-ish, dontcha think?). Also: lambs!

Money's Too Tight to Mention

Just when I thought that I had some money to burn... reality intervenes.

I really was looking forward to spending some B-day dinero this week, but somehow I got a hold of some very important bills that I have to pay. That gave me some pause, because I'm suddenly facing some tough decisions ahead - especially when you consider that I am going to be losing some important student privileges once I graduate in three weeks. We're talking about things like rent, health insurance... and an upcoming working vacation in a certain city on the US Mainland, which I am in the process of confirming.

Yeah, I know: Some people would kill to have my problems right now. And as much as I would love to be walking up with a nice little outfit to go with my black robe and Masters' stole, I don't know if I could do that at the risk of going completely broke. Or, worse, broke and uninsured... which was exactly what happened to me, one month after the last time I marched down an aisle with a tasseled hat.

Temporary happiness, or long-term gratification?

Somewhere down the road, I do have to break down and be the grown-up. Home cooking and Netflix have become my friends - along with the Hawaii State Library, Lyon Arboretum, and the yoga DVDs that I inherited from my sister. Most of the things that I don't need have either been thrown away or given away, and I'm more determined than ever to "hit the pan" on the shadows and lip glosses in my beauty stash that have not gone rancid on me.

And yes, I still make sure that I get 5 cents for every bottle and can that I take out for recycling.

There's even a stash of broken gold jewelry that I'm seriously thinking of selling off as scrap metal. Yes, you heard me - and you're probably thinking, But they're still jewelry! To which I say, it's still gold - I'm not expecting much money to come out of it, but I'd rather see it "recycled" by a legitimate local company (none of your Internet recycling thingamajigs for me, thanks) than let it lie unused in my jewelry box. Besides, if I'm going to pass anything down to my kids, I'd rather that they inherit the stuff that actually works.

It's not the easiest thing to go through, I know. But I'm confident that I'll be able to pull this one through. :)