Domesticity Friday: Playing With Fire

It was not enough for me to merely marry my great loves of snark and fine fragrance on this blog. Behold, I present to you...

POPOZAO: The Fragrance For Men

Luck is nothing without talent. Here is a fragrance for the man who has no shame in going on long guys-only trips to Las Vegas, Miami, and Tijuana without his wife and kids but still loves his family enough to stick with the craziness. Wear it and you'll feel no shame in seizing the day and rocking out with your confidence out. It's the scent you'd wear to play with fire.

Made with the unmistakable top notes of Cheetos and Red Bull, with a musky cannabis-tobacco drydown and a base of ginseng tea, menthol-eucalyptus, and stale beer. Eau de Cologne packaged in a handsome bottle clad in frayed denim and stained cotton with trucker hat cap; aftershave comes in bottle with white “Pimp Daddy” hoodie and matching trucker hat cap. Available at all Wal-Mart, Target, and Kmart stores everywhere, as well as selected pharmacies, gas stations and 24-hour convenience outlets.

Just in time for Father's Day! This special POPOZAO For Men Gift Set includes both cologne and aftershave, plus a complimentary home pregnancy test and a gift CD featuring choice cuts from the album “Playing with Fire.” Yours for $20 or $10 with any purchase of In Control Curious.

And if you thought this was messed up... well, let's just say that, if my side business of creating snarky perfumes continue throughout the summer, I should be employed as The Face of Deception (or at least the writing staff at a certain soap opera Which Shall Not Be Named) by next year. Mwahahahahaha.

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Things keeping me sane this week:

- Cleaning my kitchen and bathroom sinks. Nothing gives me more peace of mind like less scum in my home.

- The thought of seeing my cousins in the Philippines once again after not having seen them for six years.

- Dreyers Slow-Churned Ice Cream. Did you know that they just came up with a light version of Moose Tracks? Yummy.

- Switching off Kelly Preston's fembot-esque (and, I believe, Hawaii-only) PSA for Narconon so I could watch 1) the Diet Coke commercial with the guy dancing to that Bodyrockers song or 2) the Ford commercial where the girl pays for the hot guy's dry cleaning.

- Watching The Price is Right and thinking: Dang, did I really believe this was my favorite TV show when I was a kid?