The Case for a Better Night of Television

Or, Thoughts I've had all of tonight while flipping between my DVD player, my TV, and my afghan

- Okay, let's start with the Rock Star: INXS finale, shall we? As much as I want to shove beergaritas through his nose, I actually ended up not quibbling about JD ending up as the frontman over Marty. All this time that I was watching I realized that his heart did grow three sizes larger throughout the hour, and I don't know if it was the editing, but - okay, I did see the whole Julian McMahon comparison there, but I actually ended up liking him at the end of it all. And while I enjoyed Marty's take on “Don't Change,” I realized that he wasn't going to win this thing because he wasn't interacting with the band. That said, I'll still wait for Marty to release his CD, and I'd be insanely happy to see MiG share top billing with Lea Salonga, but I won't be ponying up for those INXS tickets until I'm sure that JD's going to keep himself healthy and not spending his down time pulling ass moves on the band. (Unless said ass moves involves stealing Twinkies from Andrew.)

Also, Tim? You may need to ask Simon Le Bon for some of that anti-aging serum he's been using on his face lately, because you did look good tonight. (Yes, I know, the guitar helps.) Same goes for Garry Gary, who should start wearing those faded T-shirts more often.

- And speaking of CBS' Tuesday night lineup: Okay, NCIS, who the heck had the brilliant idea to turn your show into Alias:The Squid Years? Please get Ducky out of trouble and end this Ari/Mossad nonsense by next week. Also, if you could remind Michael Weatherly to teach other actors (and by that I mean George Eads) how to look at a woman seductively, it would be very much appreciated on my part. Thanks.

- The rest of the night was spent avoiding the Big Brother finale like the plague (would that I was able to say the same for the rest of the season... ow, my eyes) in favor of the Arrested Development Season 1 DVD. (Netflix is rationing out the entire season to me, disc by disc.) I can't explain what I like about this show, even though I already missed the premiere of the third season last night. Most of the time I just stared at the television and asked myself how in the world did anyone manage to get a show like this on the air, but in a good way. (I feel that way about Boobah, too, but I don't find myself laughing as much.) Compared to Seinfeld, the writing and situations in this series seems to be a lot less forced, even when it does go OTT. And only a show like this could turn the phrase “Family comes first” and make comedic hay out of it; just when you think something's getting predictable or trite, something happens and it makes you go, “WHAT?” Also, because of this series, I want to marry Jason Bateman and make out with Will Arnett, but not necessarily in that order.

- Wait, does that mean I forgot to write an Emmy fashion blog? Well, that's because I realized that everybody else has already said what I've been meaning to say about the telecast. But, again, because it cannot be said enough: Shut up, Jennifer Love Half-Wit. You will never be Eva Longoria, even if she chose you to play the lead in The Eva Longoria Story.

- Other thoughts: Apparently somebody at Wal-Mart has been reading my blog, because I couldn't find the new issue of Domino, and the new issue of Lucky with Mandy Moore didn't have the Wal-Mart section... but the home-magazine stand had more special editions of Sunset! Hmmm.