Saturday, September 10, 2005

Domesticity Friday #7: Stay at Home

(Usually I don't like to snark at fundraising events, but tonight I just got sucked into watching the telethon on KGMB followed by Fashion Rocks. So I thought I'd just go ahead and give a Domesticity Double Dose of Snark.)

Five Thoughts During the Telethon...

- Jennifer Aniston: Least. Inspiring. Telethon Operator. Ever. Girlfriend, when even Ray Romano is more compelling than you are, that's got to be a sign.
- I can't decide which cover was more hoary: Sheryl Crow biffing “The Water is Wide” or Rod Stewart interrupting a great harmony section during “People Get Ready.”
- Note to Garth Brooks: South Beach Diet. Look into it.. Also, see my entry about aging gracefully, below. Because you definitely are not Simon Le Bon. (But you're not Rod Stewart either, and thank God for that.)
- Kanye! I just saw you on Oprah, bro! And after listening to your acoustic version of “Jesus Walks,” I'm convinced that I should buy your CD. Maybe.
- And, way to go, whoever's at the wheel, cutting off Dr. John mid-song so you could bring in the next program for us in Hawaii. (It wasn't just CBS, mind you; I switched to the ABC affiliate and I saw that they switched to regular programming, too. Bastards.)

...And Five More Thoughts on Fashion Rocks (for Hurricane Relief, Yo)

- Dang, Poppy Montgomery, did you hire Jessica Simpson's stylists for tonight? Because you did NOT need all that self-tan with big hair, excess cleavage and bling, yo. Besides, Joss Stone - even without the shoes, even while she's singing Stevie Nicks' part on “Stop Dragging My Heart Around” - looked a bit better rocking the J. Simp look .
- Here's what's chapping me right now: It's supposed to be a concert with models and fashion stuff, and what we really get is... badly-dressed dancing hoochies? (And, no, I don't mean Destiny's Child airing out their bidness in Fredericks-inspired tiny nighties.) Conde Nast, what on earth where you thinking?
- Gwen Stefani: About that dress she wore when she sang “Cool” during the first hour - “Happy Birthday Mr. President,” much? This is the most beautiful I have seen her all year, though, which made me scratch my head when she showed up in those baggy LAMB t-shirt dresses later.
- And the “Aging Gracefully for the Rest of Us” Award goes to... a tie: David Bowie (even with the low-cut socks) and Simon Le Bon of Duran Duran, who for some reason is actually looking much better and younger with the extra weight. (Hmmm, I wonder what kind of anti-aging serum Simon's been using lately...)
- Taking the “Oh, No, You Didn't” award for tonight is... Lisa Marie Presley, donning a skimpy Anne Rice-inspired black veil for her duet with Billy Idol on “White Wedding.”

1 comment:

Jen said...

I had such a crush on Simon when I was a kid. Good to know he's still looking good.