Saturday, March 04, 2006

The Case for Averting Your Eyes

With apologies to BeautyAddict, who originally posted about Kimora Lee Simmons' new makeup line: What in the name of all that's good and holy is happening here?

Let's not even start with the cosmetics themselves, the packaging of which already looks heckuva tacky and seems destined for the same clearance bin where Jessica Simpson's Dessert Beauty products now reside. Instead, let us focus our attention to the styling of Kimora herself in this photo, which terrifies me to no end. Not only am I afraid that she will eat me and my first born children, but her eye makeup makes me fearful that I, too, will turn into stone as soon as she fixes her gaze on me.

Come to think of it, Kimora is not the only celebrity in the last month or so who has been styled to resemble a Gorgon:

Also see: Sheryl Crow on the cover of last month's Allure.

Somewhere in the world, there's a makeup artist living on a steady diet of old Hercules movies and Cliffs Notes who actually believes in styling celebrities to look like the cursed monsters that they (probably, allegedly) are. If that's the case, then I should start mailing out copies of Gilgamesh, Ramayana, and Ring of the Nibelung to both Rachel Zoe and Tom Ford. Lord knows those two could use more inspiration right now....

EDITED, March 16: BeautyAddict posted another picture of Kimora on her blog - AIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Which led me to this apropos description of the word "Gorgon" from Ambrose Bierce:

The Gorgon was a maiden bold
Who turned to stone the Greeks of old
That looked upon her awful brow.
We dig them out of ruins now,
And swear that workmanship so bad
Proves all the ancient sculptors mad.

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