Thursday, March 02, 2006

The Case for Ash Wednesday

As you can tell from my last entry, I'm about twenty years overdue on giving up TV - or at least TV shows I hate - for Lent. Because, seriously, life really is too short to watch bad television - especially badly written, badly edited, and badly acted television. (Oh, don't look at me like I shouldn't count you, Ms. Gennaula. You too, Mr. & Mrs. Sprinkle.)

And it's about time I went on a TV fast, too, because I've also become exposed to some of the most atrocious offerings that national network and cable television has to offer in the last few months. Consider:

- General Hospital. Oh, why, oh why, did I get myself sucked into this sad dreck? And for that matter, how in the world did I ever find Tyler Christopher attractive? (I can never look at that face ever again knowing that his sad ass used to be married to Eva Longoria. I call it the Scott Foley syndrome.) I used to just keep it on so I can do my homework before Ellen; now I actively go out of my way lest I tempt myself into coming up with various gruesome means to kill off every character. Pathetic.

- The Flavor of Love. I have no reason to watch this at all, until I was at the student center in school the other day and caught the episode where somebody tried to cook a chicken in the microwave. And did they really have to show Flavor Flav treating all these women in this Bachelor rip-off like bargain-basement hoes, up to and including letting them all jump into the Jacuzzi with him? Will there ever be enough brain bleach in this world to help me un-see all of this?

- For that matter, anything else on VH1. Okay, I Love the '80s and I Love the '70s were awesome. The list shows, on the other hand, are not only easily outdated, but are way too tedious to watch. And as for the "Celebreality"... man, between Flavor of Love and My Fair Brady, I really should sue for damages.

- The Ghost Whisperer. This show could have been so much better if it had been Aisha Tyler in the lead. Then again, even Flavor Flav in drag would've made a better lead character than Jennifer Boob Half-wit.

- Jessica Simpson's Pizza Hut commercial. There is nothing to be said about this that Manolo hasn't said better. Except for this: Not seeing this commercial during Dancing with the Stars has only made me enjoy Drew Lachey's victory so much more.

No comments: