Friday, December 19, 2008

Domesticity Guide to Last Minute Gifties, Part 4

This entry is dedicated to the trickiest of gift-giving categories: colleagues and co-workers who may (or may not) read more into your gift than you intended. They may have their reasons, but let's try to be on the safe and ethical side here, mmkay?

For your boss: You know him, you love him, it's a real joy working for him... and if you could change one thing about him, it would probably be his hang-ups about coffee. Ever since he bequeathed his old Krups coffeemaker to the rest of the office, he has been on a relentless quest for the perfect cup: Starbucks is too corporate, Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf is too mall-ish, espresso machines are out of the question and nothing seems to measure up to his standards. But before you and your coworkers go ahead and shell out all that money for kopi luwak, you may want to consider one last option: Get him a French press from Bodum (like this one) to keep in his office, where he can heat his own water and make his own brew, any time he wants. Throw in some freshly ground beans and you'll have a happy workplace in no time.

For that client: He's one of two kinds of people - the kind who either makes your life hell by making so many insistent demands on your projects (um, hello?) or the one who makes you so many promises that even he doesn't notice that his hands are getting clammy and his eyes are glazing over. Maybe there's a little bit of both in him. In any case, you know that he could really use a tall glass of Chillax, and no cookie basket is ever going to be good enough for him to be worth taking on in the next fiscal year. We've got just the solution for you: Maui Rum from Haleakala Distillers. Some are made for smooth sipping, and some are made for swirling into a mai tai... and then there's Braddah Kimo's 155 Proof Da Bomb Extreme Rum, which is unavailable outside of Hawaii for very obvious reasons, and should only be a good idea if you're working with both Jimmy and Warren Buffett.

For the sad-sack singleton in the cubicle next to you: You've heard her talk so mournfully about her lackluster love life. She meets guys every night, you hear her say, and if she wanted a boyfriend she could hook up with any one of them right now... but she doesn't want just about any man; she needs a man, and none of those "guys" are meeting her standards. Obviously, it's not your business to tell her what to do (unless she is making those lamentations on office time, and even then you should hand the ball over to the HR folks) but God knows she could really use some spicing up for the holidays. This holiday season, upgrade her usual office cocoa with MarieBelle Aztec Hot Chocolate - as dark and rich as she could hope for in her wildest dreams -or tell her Secret Santa to get an entire canister of the after-hours-worthy Serendipity 3 Frrrozen Hot Chocolate Mix. It may not be the same as sending Mr. Darcy to her doorstep, but at least it's easier to gift wrap.

For the hardest-working colleague in your department: Take it from somebody who spent her entire year going in and out of the public school system - nobody, and I mean nobody, enjoys being sick. The only thing worse than being sick, in fact, is suffering that unspoken guilt trip that comes from having to use those sick days - especially if you're in the kind of workplace where people look at being laid up with the flu as being tantamount to a luxurious but unneccessary vacay in the Bahamas. (Just ask anyone in your office who has kids.) That said, the Herbal Infusion Assortment from Mighty Leaf Tea is a good start for anything that can affect your health and productivity: ginger for laryngitis, chamomile for anxiety, yerba mate for mental clarity (or the times when the office coffee doesn't pack enough caffeine), and other herbs to help, you know, promote a clear sense of well-being and all that.

No comments: