Thursday, April 02, 2009

April Fool's Day FAIL.

So I delivered a massive steaming pile of FAIL for April Fool's Day this year. (It involves Facebook, a fake pregnancy, and naming one of my friends from high school as the baby daddy. And no, I don't want to talk about it.) This ought to convince me that maybe I should leave the April Fool jokes to the experts and professionals.

That said, I'm bummed out that Trent Reznor chose Timbaland as a possible collaborator for his April Fool's Day joke... because that would've been BRILLIANT if they made that record for real, as opposed to being the cheesy embarrassment that it should've been. Besides... come on, Trent, were Rick Astley and Alanis Morissette unavailable?

Anyway, since we're on the topic of bad April Fool's jokes, I might as well share with you some of the failed 04/01 pranks that I came close to pulling on this site....

- Announcing my engagement to one or more of the following: Gerard Butler, James McAvoy, Ed Westwick, Anthony Bourdain, Joaquin Phoenix, Timothy Geithner (oh shut up), Neil Patrick Harris, BeBe Gandanghari.

- Amending that engagement to include that I am also having his/their babies, and we couldn't be happier. (Although I don't know if BeBe would be the type of person to "man up," so to speak, and admit to any extramarital spawn from when she used to be a boy.)

- Posting a potentially embarrassing webcam-quality video of me doing the Chicago Newscaster Dance and/or lip-syncing "Don't Look Any Further"

- Challenging Arnel Pineda to a karaoke duel where we out-jologs each other trying to sing Tagalog ballads from the '70s... extra points if we could get the makers of Xtreme Magic Sing as sponsors!

- Announcing on this blog that MAC will finally release The Domesticity Collection this fall

- Announcing on this blog that I will be in the running for the new season of Project Runway

- Announcing on this blog that Sephora has finally hired me, period

- And finally: Admitting, after all these years, that - in the light of what has become of Perez Hilton - this here blog has not only been ghostwritten, but has been ghostwritten by THIS woman:

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