Friday, May 29, 2009

What's Your Fantasy: A Placeholder Post

Hello, blog readers. I don't know if you know me yet... but since Meimei still hasn't returned from her summer hiatus, she thought it would be a good idea for me to faff around with this blog a little bit.

Yes, I understand that I am following in the grand tradition established by the likes of Gerard Butler and Jason Statham, and - try as I might - I doubt that I will ever replace The Sarsgaard in her heart. Well, all right, so Mr. Darcy has come pretty close to doing that for her, but still.

Not to mention that Mei has only seen three of my projects, and only one of them was deemed any good:
I'm sorry, but not even a mustache and '70s-style cop gear - and standing next to Paddy Considine - could hide those cheekbones from La Meimei. (Although how I managed to elude her in that zombie movie continues to puzzle me.)

Then there's this, and even I will admit that I looked insanely hot here. Except for the part where I die, but that's beside the point, right?

And then there was that BBC project that she and The Scribe (oh, hi there!) would like to refer to as The Abomination:

My apologies to those of you who remain traumatized.

(I know Meimei still is, because it says a lot about a woman who would rather watch Gilles Marini's performances on Dancing With The Stars than acknowledge, once more, that this project ever existed. In fact, she would rather acknowledge that my Dad is hot, than admit to watching this at all. Damn you, Andrew Davies. Damn you to hell.)

It's a pity that Meimei will be missing my return to PBS (and in an episode of the Marple series, no doubt - that, my friends, is the sound of her brain exploding) due to... uh... well, I am not at liberty to say it, because I'm waiting for her to tell you herself. It's not her fault that we won't be reunited right away, I can tell you that.

(And seriously, Hollywood? Do I have to wait until somebody casts me in the next big movie franchise - or at least as Patrick Jane's equally unhinged brother on The Mentalist - to get noticed? Like that's going to happen any time soon. Okay, rant over.)

So until Meimei can get herself together, I will be here, serving as a bulwark of relative sanity to tide you over.

Oh, who am I kidding? Let's go ahead and watch that sexy bastard Gilles shake his boo-tay on television one more time, shall we? (And memo to the casting directors of DWTS America: Please contact my father instead. Casting me will only cheapen the whole thing, you know?)

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