Tuesday, July 04, 2006

What's Your Fantasy? Special Pinoy Edition, Part II

Continuing the series of Hot! Pinoy! Men...

Dear Piolo Pascual:

Once upon a time, you looked like this...

And I wasn't attracted to you. Not because you pinged my GayDar (ain't nothing wrong with that - would you think I'd be less attracted to Peter Sarsgaard* if that was the case?) but because, well, you were sooooo overrated. First of all, I didn't buy into that "Hunks" nonsense to begin with. Second, I didn't get what the other TFC-watching Pinays in Honolulu saw in you, especially since they're more fanatical about you than every single fan of Clay Aiken and Taylor Hicks combined. Third: Gee, another singing, dancing Pinoy actor who likes to flash his abs and star in melodramatic movies in love teams with "sweet" actresses? Please.

But then you started growing your facial hair:

It's too bad I can't find the picture of your San Mig Coffee ad (the one where you totally grew out your beard), which I would not have known was you if my Mom hadn't pointed it out. (Sorry, guy, but my Mom's taste in celebrity boyfriends begin and end with Sean Connery.) And, really, you couldn't be any hotter if you had shown up at my doorstep shirtless with roses and champagne in one hand and Chinese takeout in another. You do know how much I love Chinese takeout, right?

Anyway, I hear you're dating a certain actress who used to be a sickly sweet teen star until she started posing in her underwear and making trashy movies. (Hey, at least I found a work-safe photo, dude!) If that's the case, good for you. Either way, I'm raising you a milk toast - with extra Milo - just for being, well, you.

xox, Mei


*And on another note: Dear sweet Jebus, I just saw the Saturday Night Live rerun hosted by P-Sars, and I had to turn it off after half an hour. For crying out loud, SNL, could your writers be any more incompetent? What is this, General Hospital? And, Pete, I'm glad you're taking a break to help Maggie G. out with your baby, but please, please, PLEASE, would you consider making your own comedy next time?

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