Friday, September 01, 2006

The Case for the Guaranteed Box-Office Hit

By now you may have realized that I missed this week's Very Supernova Elimination of Ryass - um, I mean, Ryan, which makes me happy even though I think I'm going to miss him a little bit. There were a few more things I also missed - Lukas playing with the band, Magni escaping the Bottom Three (yay!) and the sweet karmic payback that is Dopelana ending up in the Bottom 3. Well, what can I say.

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This morning, we were reading the paper, and I saw a movie listing at one of the theaters for a movie called You Are The Man. Yeah, I know that it's a typo because the theater was showing both You Are The One (the one where Sam Milby and Toni Gonzaga bicker and fall in love and whatnot) and Little Man (the Wayans Brothers movie), but I can't help but think if it was an actual movie.

Picture this: Sam Milby, with the help of award-winning CGI, plays a vertically-challenged American citizen on the run from the law and hiding in the Philippines where he is forced to pose as a baby while looking for his biological mother. Along the way, however, he ends up at the doorstep of Toni Gonzaga, a clerk with the National Statistics Office who always gets shot down by consuls at the US Embassy (played by Shawn and Marlon Wayans) whenever she applies for a visa to visit her mother. They bicker, they patch up, they fall in love... then drama ensues, all culminating with an explosive chase scene at NAIA where Little Sam runs after Toni with the help of Shawn and Marlon as corrupt military goons threaten to hijack her plane using a tiny vial of explosive-posing-as-baby formula. Then the goons are eaten by gigantic snakes and Love Conquers All! The end.

If that's the case, I am so going to watch that movie.

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