Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Domesticity Reviews: Rock Star Season 2, Week 9 (Viewer's Choice)

Some thoughts running through Meimei's mind while watching this week's telecast on Star World...

Reality Webisode: "Here we go again, and I'm already tired because I think I biffed something at the conference this afternoon. Dilana, you're not the only one who makes that sort of mistake, you know. I've said crappier things about people I actually loved, and they're not even on - HOLY CRAP, DID YOU JUST SMASH YOUR GLASS IN FRONT OF MAGNI? Would you just take a damn Xanax already? Poor Magni, getting a little gash on his face. Insert 'It's only a flesh wound' joke here... Wait, is that Ryan wearing eyeglasses? Do these producers know that I have a spectacle fetish? Because Ryan + glasses = HOT. Aw, look at Magni being stoic. And look at Dilana totally losing her marbles. Now that's vulnerability. None of that 'I'm so emotional, I want to smash a f'ing glass and hang my knees out the window' crap... Photo shoot. Yawn. I hate that photographer guy. Trying for too much sexy. Blue Steel! And, hello, Magni GOT HIS FACE SLASHED BY A SHARD OF GLASS. You'd be out of it, too, if you were in his situation... Cut to the chase. Song selection. Wait - this week is Viewers' Choice? And EVERYBODY got a Wild Card? Either the system is finally working in our favor, or this competition is getting more cooked by the day. Lukas, I know you hate Nirvana, but the fans love you for -- oh, wait, Mom just came in with a couple of bromeliads, and... are those cookies? COOKIE. ARRRGHNUMNUMNUMNUM."

Recap of Webisode on Performance Night: "Way to go producers, sticking the knife so deep into Dilana like that. You're lucky she's not bashing any drinking glasses in your direction. And stop being such a wuss, Dave Navarro. I guess there really is a girl's bike in your future, so until then, just... stop."

Lukas, "Lithium": "He's rocking it, all right, but I never would have thought that Lukas, of all people would come up with something that's a mere few inches away from Richard Cheese territory. But I like this better than Dilana's, for sure. Especially since Dopelana scared the heck out of me when she did this. Hey, Dopelana. Also: Shut Up Dave Navarro."

Commercial Break #1: "Hey, Evie was right: Those two lead guys from Cueshe do look like butch lesbians in drag. Whoever pointed this out to her, I should buy that guy a beer."

Magni, "I Alone": "Now, this is the way you sing Live for a reality television show. I still remember Ed Kowalczyk's vocals on the original version and that one gave me chills, but here Magni's just letting himself be vulnerable. Oh, my goodness, I'm about to make a joke about the 'thawing' of the Iceman. How baduy."

Ryan, "Clocks": "He got me from the piano playing. Good start... Wait, is he trying to hump the piano? What in the fresh hell is this? I guess this works both ways - if you hated Coldplay enough maybe you'd like it, but... I dunno. I wish I didn't mind the screaming so much."

Commercial Break #2: "Okay, so Star World News is still on. Now, who on earth should I talk to at MYX to get them to stop playing that damn video for 'Dale Candela' over and over again?... Oh, isn't this hilarious. 'Rock Star: Supernova. BROUGHT TO YOU BY KFC.' That is so rock, y'all."

Storm, "Bring Me To Life": "Oy. Too low. I bet even Amy Lee is meh about this whole thing. Five words: 'Call Me When You're Sober.' Toby's so not rockin' it with the backup, though. 'Stole your heat,' my foot. "

Toby, "Rebel Yell": "He's not mumbling! HE'S NOT MUMBLING! And look at him pulling up some of those girls onstage. We should call them Our Groupies: Paid Nicely."

Commercial Break #3: "You know, a Diet Coke wouldn't be so bad right now... except we're out of Diet Coke. Damn. Brain turning off. Must get sleep immediately."

Dopelana, "Mother Mother": "The perfect song for the perfect rock poseur. I'd like this better... if I still cared. Whatever. I guess it's true: If she wins, the band gets the singer it deserves. And the rest of us will go on with our lives."

Meimei turns off TV before seeing who's in the Bottom 3.

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