Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Domesticity Dispatch: Miss You Like Hell, Manila

So it's confirmed: I should be back in Honolulu by mid-September. Right now, however, I'm in the middle of a mad scramble - registering for classes (online), looking for a new apartment (online), window shopping for laptops (online) packing up my bags (I wish I could do this online) - which has left precious little in the way of wrapping up my business here in the Philippines.

Manila, Manila/ Miss you like hell, Manila/ No place in the world like Manila/ Manila, coming home...

Okay, so lining up my job offers is one thing. Saying goodbye to the people who have kept me sane, however, is another story. Evie's birthday is coming up soon. Stretch and I still need to have our spa day. I still haven't figured out if our buddy Pike is coming home for his dad's funeral - we've practically grown up with the guy. And I still haven't talked to my cousin Tiger in weeks, even though he too is facing his own important decisions about leaving the country.

I want to think about the bad stuff so I won't miss the place - the small-town gossip, the usual governmental chicanery, the annoyingly boba VJs who keep interrupting my daily dose of videos on MYX - but I can't. I've fallen in love with the place. It's unfortunate that I still have one year left of graduate school to finish, with the possibility of not coming home this Christmas... but there you go.

One thing is for damn sure: I will be back.


Speaking of this whole transition: Between going on Friendster and going on nostalgia trips, I've found myself bemoaning my singleness over again. Here in my hometown, Evie and I are among the few left in our large group of friends (most of whom have known each other for at least 20 years) that have not gotten married - without a demanding job/ religious vocation/ extended stay in rehab to excuse us for not being in a relationship. Among my high school friends from Manila, I could barely count the ones who still identify themselves as "single."

(Well, so this is the part where my Mom butts in and reminds me of the people I know who - for lack of a better description - are checking the "It's complicated" category to describe their marital status. That's another rant for another time.)

Still and all, though: I do think I'm happy where I am right now - I've got a loving family, friends who love and support me, a (potential) career in which I'm finally finding some sort of fulfillment, and a growing awareness of my spirituality. That still doesn't excuse me for the moments when I'm at my most human... or at least the moments when I'm curled up around my pillow, wondering about the reasons why I'm not making out with (insert name of potential celebrity boyfriend) at this very moment.

Yeah, I know, I could work on a few of those things that have been scaring guys off for years. Then again, considering the qualities of the guys I have "scared off"... well, I guess that's just God's way of telling me that I was way too good for the poor sucker anyway. (Ahem. Ahem.)

But I'll... stop here, because it's getting too long and I'm about to get weepy. Next entry!

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