Monday, August 07, 2006

Domesticity Reviews: Video A-Go-Go

WARNING: Links not included with entry for certain videos. That's how much I'm trying to forget that I ever watched them. Brain bleach, anyone?

- Justin Timberlake, "SexyBack": No, PAB, Taylor Hicks is bringing the sexy back. Heck, there are former contestants from Pinoy Big Brother who are bringing more sexy back than you are, and they're not even my type. Besides, your Rick James voice on the chorus is making me wonder when Charlie Murphy is going to deliver your beatdown.

- Fergie, "London Bridge": Let's get all those "what the heck does she mean by London Bridge?" arguments out of the way and get straight to the point. The beats? Hot. The rest of the song? Meh. The rest of the song with the entire video? Are giving me nightmares. Compared to this, both "Deja Vu" and "Stars Are Blind" are looking hot by the minute.

- Cassie, "Me & U" / Rihanna, "Unfaithful": Both girls are really cute and seem like tons of fun to be with. That said, the songs are crap (lyrically and musically) and the videos are way too sexualized to be sexy, if you catch my drift. (Note about the Cassie video: I'm talking about the one where she dances in front of the mirror, not the one on YouTube that got scrapped because it looked like she was playing the jailbait card.)

- Jessica Simpson, "Public Affair": If only Madonna would just come down from the crucifix and slap some sense into the poor dear, I'd appreciate it.

- Jenn Cuneta, "Come Rain Come Shine": No, not the old chestnut, but a brain-free pop song set to a Paul McCartney sample. A couple of things: 1) Jenn, you're ruining the family name. Give it back to Sharon, for crying out loud, and go steal a surname from a less worthy Filipino celebrity. 2) And while I'm at it? PUT SOME PANTS ON, WOMAN.

And I haven't even gotten started with some of the videos I'm beginning to like, such as Keane's "Is It Any Wonder" (only because it sounds way too much like "Zoo Station" by U2) and "Dance, Dance" by Fall Out Boy. More on those later.

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