Thursday, August 03, 2006

Domesticity Reviews: Rock Star Season 2, Week 5

So I missed tonight's elimination round, but I did find out from the Rock Star site that Dana got eliminated. Which I still think was the wrong choice (especially after watching Star World's broadcast of the reality "webisode" - shut up, Zayra) but I guess it was enough to spare the poor girl from further humiliation.

(Speaking of Dana, I did call her the Kat McPhee of Rock Star back in Week 1. And now that she's gone, I'm now going to wonder aloud if there's a way we could get "Black Horse & The Cherry Tree" as a song selection for the rawkers. Heck, even "Suddenly I See" would be a good choice at this point...)

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, let us now focus our attention to the sucktastic performances of Jill and Lukas, which could have been avoided if they just Switched Songs In The First Place. Now, before any of you guys throw tomatoes at me for suggesting that Jill sing "Celebrity Skin" so soon after "Violet," I'm going to say that this isn't so much about her as it is about our friend Lukas, who I think would've killed "Don't You Forget About Me" without so much as a single mumbled lyric. It's such a pity, because I would've enjoyed his low-singing more than her trying-too-hard yelling.

But here's the thing: Between those two, Dana, and Patrice, it's evident that these folks already know that they're going to crash and burn every week. It just goes to show that sometimes it's a lot more fun to watch somebody give it their all while they're crashing and burning than to watch someone get all high-and-mighty and flop unintentionally. Yes, Zayra, I'm looking at you that way, and stop forcing me to like you. And note to Z. while I'm at it: It's one thing for the House Band to snark at you, as J.D. Fortune will attest. But when Our Band: Future Employer basically tells you that the only reason you're still in the competition is because you amuse them... well, here's your sign.

In other news...

- Hey, what about that Dilana, eh? I never liked that "Can't Get Enough" song from Bad Company, but she made it look so much fun - and definitely not scary - that I'm inspired to declare her as the Best All-Around Entertainer of the competition. Maybe I can even cut back on the Dilana vs. Jordis comparisons from this moment onwards.

- Conversely, how Oprah was that whole segment with Magni? Not only is BabyMagni so cute, I had to admit that I almost cried when the big guy found out about his family being flown out to LA from Iceland. Which still does not detract from the fact that his rendition of "Clocks" made me cry for a different reason.

- Apparently Toby has taken my advice from last week and has started chugging a little more Spanish Fly. Boring song or not - and we can argue for days on that end about whether he did "Pennyroyal Tea" justice - at least he's getting some mojo on him.

- Note to Tommy Lee: When I hear Josh sing "Santeria" - and I don't think he did a bad job with this - I too imagine myself sitting back with a fruity drink in my hand. Unfortunately, I'm imagining myself with that drink at a college party where certain UH-Manoa students (who may or may not be athletes) have mixed said fruity drink with every single bottle of booze and fruit juice at hand, which they then served in 24-ounce Dixie cups from one of those gigantic coolers that people also use for Gatorade. And that, my friend, is not always a good mental image for me.

- For the last few weeks I've been asking why on earth Ryan is still in this competition. Well, after hearing him on the piano for "Losing My Religion," I guess I now have my answer. Stunning.

Edited to add that I forgot about the lovely Storm, who acquitted herself nicely with Bowie. Also to demand a long-awaited beatdown for a certain wannabe hipster-columnist now writing for the Philippine Star, who believes that Dave Navarro has sold out and Jane's Addiction is a better band than Motley Freaking Crue. Hello, Mr. I-Wish-I-Lived-In-Williamsburg-With-Pretentious-Indie-Rock-Folk-Like-Me, have you read The Dirt yet? Oh, I get it, you won't, because you're too cool for that. Stupid poser. I hope Jessica Zafra stomps on you with her Docs when she gets a hold of you.

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