Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Domesticity Reviews: Rock Star Season 2, Week 7

Oy! Naked Toby! "Sauteed in wrong sauce"! And a ton of rockers blaming everything on Vegas! This is just fantastic, yo.

From the looks of it, I believe I can already see a Top 5 in the form of Dilana, Lukas, Ryan, Magni, and perhaps even Toby. On the other hand, however, the bottom 3 that I'm seeing right now - Patrice, Storm, and Zayra - is still too close to call.

At first I was insistent that this should be Shut Up Zayra's week to go home, but I'm now beginning to wonder if she's going to hang in there for another week. Not that I was blown away by her performance of "Lluvia del Mar (Rainy Days)" , but I will admit that the song is gorgeous, and if anything I'm convinced that she's hell-bent on going out with a bang - which, now that I think of it, is such a rock-n-roll thing to do; "better to burn out than to fade away," you know? Not to mention that her makeup - again with the gold eyeshadow and flase lashes (Shu Uemura?) - looked absolutely lovely, and I'd rather see the taffeta skirt rather than the head-to-toe yellow latex jumpsuits.

And if Z. does go home, I'm seeing a Thursday-night tossup between Shut Up Patrice and Shut Up Storm next week, because none of them are really bringing it so much as text-messaging it in. Storm, in particular, totally messed up with "I Will Survive" - come on, couldn't somebody had pointed out that CAKE, of all people, was able to rock this one? Vegas hangover, my foot. And Patrice seems to be holding on to the "What Am I Still Doing Here" trophy, since she did the impossible feat of putting me to sleep with "Message in a Bottle." Not the worst version of the song I've heard, though (that distinction belongs to someone I knew at UH Manoa... not saying who, but it's someone I'm definitely no longer friends with) but covering Sting should never be this boring.

As for my top 5 contenders, remember: It's not in any order, for sure. Dilana's a favorite, for sure (and those of you who have seen the "webisode" would probably not take it against her whenever she gets all Kanye West and talks about how she's the obvious choice anyway) but this week was not my favorite performance at all; it practically belonged in the "Early Dilana" category when she tried too hard, rather than Last Week's Dilana who made it all effortless. Magni I will always love, but he too has been regressing a little bit and needs to loosen up on stage. Only Ryan and Lukas have seemed quite consistent performance wise, and I'm beginning to like how Lukas in particular is totally exploring subtlety and romanticism for a change. (As for Ryan, I can't wait for him to work on something more decidedly cheesy... Foreigner, anyone?) That leaves Toby, who I want to hate for mangling "Solisbury Hill" but can't because of his bongo-drum playing. And, um, his drunk nakedness.

Which reminds me: Somebody needs to sing "Separate Ways" here, people. Or "Every Rose Has Its Thorn." Or even (as I hinted last week) "Bringin' On The Heartbreak." Heck, I'll even take any of the cheesier moments in the Motley Crue discography, if Tommy Lee can handle it. (Disclosure: We sang "Time for Change" for my 6th grade graduation. AND one of my classmates thought he was cool when somebody gave him a tape of a rap group named "2 Live Crue." Oh, the humanity.) Come on, Mark Burnett! I need some levity here!

No comments: