Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Domesticity Reviews: Rock Star: Season 2, Week 8

I caught the morning telecast of today's show on Star World at 10 am. No, scratch that - because I was hung over from the post-concert bull session with Evie, I caught the tail end of the "reality" episode in anticipation of the performance episode. Folks, maybe it's just me, but what kind of wickety-wack (TM Manolo) did they just air for that one? No, I'm not talking about Ryan being a control freak (hey, if you realized that you were performing your own Original Song to an International Audience, wouldn't you be?), but that whole "counseling" session where the Roomie-Rockers start getting in touch with their feelings about their housemates. Apart from that tidbit about somebody being a slob (Dilana, is that you?) and Magni riffing on Lukas' makeup as a "Canadian thing," that was some pure, unfiltered wickety-wack on my television right there. I didn't even get a chance to laugh at Dilana's turn to run around the pool naked, which was... okay, except for the incredible muscle tone and inkage on her skin, because I think it was totally expected of her.

Okay, back to the performances... and to Ryan, who after the jaw-dropping performance of his otherwise micromanaged Original Song, is now my candidate for Rawker I'd Most Want To See Nude Next Week. Because, seriously, who else would it be? I'm sure it won't be Patrice because her song, like Shut Up Zayra's, confirmed that she's better off being her own artist in her own world. I don't think it would be Magni out of respect for his family, and Lukas... well, in the words of Mr. Tommy Lee, that would be totally Sauteed in Wrong Sauce, no matter how hot he is onstage.

Which leads us to Storm and her glittery gray eyeshadow, which runs neck-and-neck with Dilana and her purple false lashes (can't be Shu Uemura, though - I've seen a similar pair at Longs Drugs in Kaimuki) for Best Eye Makeup of the Night. Storm's "Cryin' " really put her over the top for this competition, I think, but I would totally love it if she would do her Original Song next week. Same with Dilana, especially since she had the gumption to sing her own name during "Every Breath You Take" - interesting psychological subtext, but I want some music, darnit.

Also: Nobody ever sounded good while covering "Smells Like Teen Spirit," especially when it comes to this show. MiG Ayesa didn't, and Magni, while still sounding competent as a singer (and looking very adorable while doing so), didn't fare any better either. The only difference, however, was that at least Magni was going for "intense" and "subtle" at the same time, which was probably why the judges docked him for not being dramatic enough.

Which leads us to my obligatory weekly nitpick on Lukas, where I do ding him on turning his back on the audience once again (but major props for not humping the drum set... more on that later). Like I've said, Lukas isn't exactly a guy I'd like to see naked, but when he's on, he's on, and it makes him so much more attractive that way. Also, I immediately flashed back to the concert I attended last night, where one of the bands had a frontman who had almost the exact same get-up as Lukas - right down to the aviator glasses, in fact. That guy, however, didn't have a skunk stripe in his hair, and was certainly not wearing eyeliner.

And finally... Toby, what the heck happened? I can take or leave the whole "Layla" business (the original is never something you should be messing with anyway, but props for keeping the guitar line, which puts you one over Eric Clapton), but would somebody please tell him that he shouldn't even be climbing over the drum kit and acting like an orangutan in heat? I understand the urge to air-hump the guitar player, as Jill demonstrated numerous times, but the drum kit?!?!?! It's a good thing I was half-conscious when I saw this, dude, because otherwise I would've totally switched channels on you so I could watch that Sandwich video (I love you Diego!!!) for the ten millionth time.

Should totally go: Patrice
Should get the encore: Ryan or Storm
Should play with Suave Porn: Lukas, if Ryan gets the encore
Will probably end up winning the whole thing anyway, like it or not: Dilana

On a lighter note, Gilby Clarke's dog - or as I would love to call him right now, Our Mascot: Chomper - is adorable, and should be on the show more often.

Now, if ABS-CBN (that would be The Filipino Channel for those of you abroad) could just start the ball rolling on the inevitable Rock Star rip-off, I will totally forgive them for every heinous television program that they have ever produced in this lifetime. Really!

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